How Willing Am I? Good Question.

   Approximately a week ago I got my head in the clouds by thinking and planning what I'm going to do after I graduate high school, hopefully May of 2014. However, it was last week I tried to tell you about my heart for missions, but apparently all I had written disappeared probably into the vastness of space. But let's try again in a brief paragraph or two. Last week at church was "Missions Sunday", but hearing the testimonies from some of those who went and watching the slide show they put on has touched my heart the same way it usually does, and that's breaking it, making me wanting to go there right that minute with no delay and setting a blaze of zeal in my heart. Furthermore I decided to dig deeper into some ministries I could work with since someone from Compassion International was there however, some of these ministries were ones yes like Compassion, but they were Mercy Ships and Operation Blessings. I looked more into Mercy Ships for two reasons, one is because my mom had given me the idea since I'm trying to get into Moody Bible Institute and that's what my cousin Amy did, and two because Operation Blessings just did missions trips within the states and not that we don't need missionaries here in the states, it just I rather go to a third world country. However, this is only the beginning to the question, "how willing am I?" well to be honest for about 3 years since my first missions trip it has become a very real desire to serve in missions, so I guess you could say willingness there has never been an issue, but that's not the whole picture here. The story goes as I was thinking about Mercy Ships and I was looking at what to expect all digging deep to see what exactly I was getting myself in to, well as my sleuth in me found it was $700 a month to serve (I know, weird for you to give your money to serve) and I thought "OK I'll leave after Thanksgiving of 2014 if I graduate and go for 6 months since I have limited funds and will already be trying to raise $1400-$1700 to go for that time." After the week progressed I started to question, "how willing am I?" It was earlier this year I was reading in a devotion about how the Savoir waits ahead, and honestly when I was convicted by what appeared to be unwillingness and most of all failure to trust God again.
My breath is taken away at all that has happened in 2013, from change to leaps of faith it has all been a hard thing to take in but worth my life.
But this week I want to challenge you all as I have been. I want you all to listen for God's voice taking the leap of faith (and if you'd like to talk to me on Sunday at church that's fine too I'd be happy to pray with you) I know when I was challenged to take the leap to tell my youth leader I want to learn leadership I felt humbled all because the pastor invited us up to pray for us taking leaps of faith. Believe me it's worth getting rid of every anxious feeling, but as a friend told me that wild 4th of July, "If you are in God's will you won't miss a thing", but even more so when you take that first step the others just keep coming and you begin to feel confident and strong in Christ.

Habakkuk 3:19
The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.
For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.

Faith receiveth the promise, embraceth it, and comforteth the soul unspeakably with it. Faith is so great an artist in arguing and reasoning with the soul, that it will bring over the hardest heart that it hath to deal with. It will bring to my remembrance at once, both my vileness against God, and his goodness towards me; it will show me, that though I deserve not to breathe in the air, yet that God will have me an heir of glory.
John Bunyan

A Passion Of a Lifetime

Yesterday was "Missions Sunday" at Cottonwood and it was a service dedicated to hearing some of the testimonies

Starts With Me? (Where I Go From Here)

About a month ago here I used a song to help out with my blog post to add perspective and that musical touch I don't usually add, but turns out it inspires my musings by allowing me to clear out my head and observe the situation in a thoughtful direction. (see what I mean by musings?)

Anyway, you may have seen the post last month about finding God's will, I assume you did or this post probably wouldn't be making much sense at all, and if you didn't I'm sorry but this one has a little bit more connection to that then any other related link I've done before.
However, if you have read the post from last month this is the official update to what's going on with that situation and maybe even more to come, but this gives me the perfect time to mention what you can expect next month, "Countdown From 10: What I Hope To See In The Next 10 Months", and don't worry I'll give you the updates on how I am doing with those "tasks" and so forth. But now today's post about new questions being raised, starting ministry, and what's the deal with me getting ahead of myself?

New Questions Being Raised?
"You must do some serious thinking about your ambitions and ask yourself, 'Is this ambition my master or servant?"
 -John White

"Does it make much sense to pray for guidance about the future if we are not obeying in the thing that lies before us today? How many momentous events in Scripture depend on person's seemingly small act of obedience! Rest assured: Do what God tells you to do now, and, depend upon it, you will be shown what to do next." -Elizabeth Elliot

As past posts have made it clear I'm not a fan of waiting and all  that time I was asking, "What does it mean to trust God?" Eureka! But I've had the answer for quite a while now. My answer on what does it mean to trust God? It means to wait on God with patience and perseverance as Romans 8:25 says, "But if we look forward to something we don't have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently." (NLT)

Even as I ask myself other questions like why does God have me here in this place at the time? Or how is this going to benefit or help me in future events?

To be honest all I know it's just God telling me to trust Him.

With the epic conclusion to wrap that up it means to have faith in the unknown and wait; meaning I have a lot to learn.
Now the other questions;

"What can I do to leave a legacy? How can I speak with authority When I can’t see You, I can’t see You How can I know the dreams You have for me?
How do I believe beyond what I have seen?" -Tim Timmons

Quite frankly thinking of  leaving a legacy I think of camp Crestridge because in the promo for Crestrige and Ridgecrest it says, "Join the legacy" and thinking what I'm thinking it must show some sort of significants or I'm just getting ahead of myself, but we'll get there in a minute. So my answer might be when I send in the application for camp Crestridge or in recent thoughts any summer camp.
How about authority? Ooh tough one I must say, actually despite the fact I'm the eldest doesn't exactly mean or scream authority, but since the good news has been official to announce that my parents are planning on adopting on a little girl from Haiti, so you can pray for that. However my answer is yes waiting to send applications to be a camp councilor or in starting ministry soon.
When I can't see God? Short and simple: Still on earth and still waiting, most of all I have to trust God. Knowing dreams and believe what I have seen? Dreams are easy; my answer
"God surpasses our dreams when we reach past our personal plans and agenda to grab the hand of Christ and walk the path He chose for us. He is obligated to keep us dissatisfied until we come to Him and His plan for complete satisfaction."
-Beth Moore
Through out the past few months I've wondered about God's will, wondered what it means to trust God? And recently I've realized that your dreams can come true when you trust in God.
“God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him”
-John Piper
It's also really cool to see God's work in my life though godly desires and being able to see His work is in my life through all my plans, ambitions, and goals.
"Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails. What a man desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar. The fear of the LORD leads to life: Then one rests content, untouched by trouble."
-Proverbs 19:20-23"
Generally the question being asked is why haven't I trusted God's promise in Jeremiah 29:11?
 ^"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Starting Ministry! 1 Timothy 4:12
"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."
 Proverbs 16:3
"Commit to the Lord whatever you do,    and he will establish your plans."
This section is going to be really short basically I'm taking on a new role to start my training to help with youth group. I'll let you know more as I'm father along.

What's The Deal With Me Getting Ahead Of Myself?
Philippians 4:6
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

It's a work in progress hopefully that will change, but the big deal is really learning to trust in God throughout this entire situation of all what I am waiting to see what God will do with my life.

So yes it starts with me!
" You're my revival song, You start where I belong
On my knees, on my knees
When I am weak or strong You meet me here
When I'm on my knees, on my knees
Oh, it starts with me

Why do I try to work outside of You?
Knocking down doors I should be going through
But I'm so tired, I'm so tired
You take my burdens off of my shoulders
You break the lies that hold me back
I'm not sure enough

I really wanna change the world
I really wanna sing Your song
But I know revival's got to start with me
I really wanna change the world
I really wanna sing Your song
But I know revival's got to start with me"
-Tim Timmons "Starts With Me"




 

The Best 4th of July So Far?

Yesterday was 4th of July as you all know, but for me it was more then the average American red, white, and blue, anything having to do with BBQ, fireworks, family, friends, and traffic kind of day. It was really good, but wild 4th of July and not the wild you'd expect it to be by definition either. Only this 4th of July and the last I had gained more perspective, with the added going mad occasionally, and if you're asking, "is that good or bad?" I would say perspective is key, but not today no, today my answer is that depends on my day that usually ends up being yes, that is unless otherwise my day has resulted in anxiety then it's bad. It has been different is all I'm saying, and that might just be because this year my parents weren't looking at the place I'm living in currently and because I got to see a few people I haven't seen in 7 months. I'm just glad seeing everyone wasn't half as bad as I thought (that was probably the anxiety talking at the time), but I'm glad I had more to talk about then I usually ever did apart from the animals. Of course it just gets weird when they ask how's Albuquerque? I just say it's the same and I've changed more then Albuquerque, but let's just get the facts straight: There is nothing new under the Albuquerque sun, except maybe the one of two seasons changing and rarely the weather. It was great seeing everyone that I haven't seen in 7 months, but I got werided out quickly when they said my sisters and I were all grown up. I'm thinking it had something to do with the fact that my sisters were wearing make up, and I was not wearing my glasses plus my hair was cut. Uh I guess that would be pretty self-explanatory for the most part. The best parts about going yesterday was seeing my two of my friends get baptized, getting to see the small amount of people I knew, getting to see new familes, and of course getting hugs. If you know me well enough, you should know I love hugs (meaning don't be afraid to give me a hug, I don't bite and if I do I only nibble). On the hysterical side I have been given a task that I haven't given much thought to, but I better get crackin' and let's hope that ends like I hope it will because it involves giving someone a hard time. I had to laugh though because everyone kept asking "have you eaten?" no I wish I would have though... I blame the stupid Goldfish crackers and Gatorade I had rather then homemade ice cream, farm fresh BBQ pig, and every thing else that looked good. I am one happy Melody, but when people asked about the church though, that's when the situation changed rather quick and dad thinks we're all happy dandy lions. I am not implying that I'm not happy at Cottonwood, but same story I've never been at a church so long or even old enough to ever really know either and that's why it takes a lot of change. (But don't be suprised if that changes here quickly). At least I got talking about the changes I've experinced and even talked about how stressed I am about being stressed in January (and that does not include my 17th birthday either). Yes, January is going to be stressfull because all my deicions and many determining factors for so many things and I'm not geting into details today, but be on the watch! I was just so encouraged by everyone I talked to because they just heard everything I said with the added of basically telling me not to worry God's got it under contoll and that if I am in God's will I won't miss a thing. Thank goodness it was just at the most amazing time too. What a wonderful way to spend 4th of July with amazing people!

So that's really it for today. I could go on, but I would rather save this story to add on to for other posts.

Trail Mix

I'm sorry I haven't posted in two weeks, but I've been kind of busy.
You might have noticed today's title and post is a bit indigenous, conspicuous, erratic, and weird.
After all, I've been experiencing a lot of change, growth, learning, and trials in the expanse of 7 months. I guess you could say I need time to think and process, but even though I haven't posted for two weeks my brain acquired several different thoughts on what to post today, and truth is, it's going to be a bit like trail mix or complex in better words.
Many of you might think my brain is over run by chaotic thoughts, running at 2,857 thoughts per second, or even possessed by many thoughts, and maybe while all those may all seam true it's how I function.
Even through this astronomical and radical transformation has brought me to my knees I know now it really is really where I go from here leaving all behind and striving for God's will in my life.
Despite it has only been 7 months of change, growth, learning, and trails, it has also been 7 months of me finding out who I am, and to be honest, I really thought I had it figured out, and turns out over the past 3 years I've only scratched the surface. Probably the least bitter of the reality I've tasted in the past 7 months.
As early last week came my thoughts were intruded by the thought of change and how I am stepping into it even deeper then the last time. One thing you should know about me: I love change, but quite frankly it scares me half to death, and that's where my thoughts were intruded and screaming, "Run! Run for the hills! Whatever you do run! Run away! Personally I would highly recommend you don't run from change because I know for a fact that usually ends up being more harm then good, and believe me, I know it's like that nasty cough medicine we had to take as kids to stop the coughing and make us feel better. Yuck. Still has to do with where I go from one spot to the next.
Like Robert Frost's poem,
"Two roads diverged in a wood and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." ~Robert Frost
and even in my brief testimony.
4 and a half years ago I gave my life to Christ, but since then it's been a pilgrimage and an unforgettable on at that. However, through these years I've had small misdirections to where it is I'll go from here after some sort of significants has happened, but more commonly looked upon today as trial and error.
Really as I sit here I'm thinking of Haiti, one because a team of 13 from Cottonwood church went and came back yesterday, two I really want to go, that is if it's God's will, and most importantly my parents as they're thinking about adopting a child from there. I'm excited and nervous all at once, ah yes, so much going on in my heart that thinks about Haiti.
Mainly important though in two weeks I get back to youth group and this time being more involved then I have been in the past 10 months. I guess you could say the past 7 months have been an adventure and not to mention, I myself love adventures and maybe that's why I'm enjoying this chapter of my life because soon I will be taking things to new heights. I remember last week talking to some friends and being pretty stressed, not about talking to them, but being stressed by several things going on in life. I'm kind of laughing a myself though because I typically say "expect the unexpected when least expected." Take it from me, I can't even hold up to my own saying and even with my brain running a mile a minute I don't even know what to expect! I think my new saying will be "let the hands of God be the hands time in your future and in the plans the Lord has for you; let your feet be guided by the lamp that leads to the path of purpose."
As I've been telling people, "time is a determining factor for what I do" and so is school, if it is God's will I hope to graduate next year, thus allowing me to go to Texas and hopefully following that leaving to go to England for one year. But let's get it straight, this is my plan, doesn't mean it's God's even though I seam determined that it should be.
Speaking of determination, we had a cockroach in our house and mom made a comment about my "strong heart" and I was quick to respond saying the only thing strong in my heart is it's will... maybe thinking about it now normally that's true because I'm pretty stubborn anyway for what ever reason it may be.
Although I seam to be in so many directions, but I'm not going to call it misdirection, I'm going to call it one step away from another big step.
But on the thought of steps; I've realized I have taken more in 7 months then I have in my entire life. Yeah crazy I know, but hey, so is trail mix. Haha sorry couldn't help it.
Anyway I'll catch you all later.

Puzzle Pieces

It has been a long while since I last did a puzzle. Don't get me wrong I love puzzles, but sometimes I just stop because I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere, or I'm irritated at a piece being determind it's going to fit some where and it's ends up being the wrong piece in the wrong spot. Might be a bit far-fetched, blunt, and probably every bit of going on a limb, but I actually think of life like a puzzle --or my mind is like a whole bunch of puzzle pieces composed of several pieces and possiblites.

Personally I'm not really sure how realistically that sounds to you, but it's kind of the way my brain is wired that way currently.
However, the explanation is a whole other story. (Yes this involves my "story time" I suppose). OK this might be a bit vauge if you've never seen Men in Black 3, but if not the explantion will do either case well. Basically it's like the character Griffin, (information from Wikipedia, just so you all know) a fifth-dimensional being who sees multiple timelines simultaneously. Only it's diffirent for me, I am only a three-dimensional being, and I look at possibilites and put them together like a puzzle. Therefore the meaning of "puzzle pieces". Several examples come into my mind, however I have actually a few pieces put together, so not all of them are technically are lose puzzle pieces. Anyway, we'll make a really long story a short one. I'm not sure how many of you know my "Texas story", but basically I wanted to go to Texas and the door pretty much got closed for the time. Now as I've done my first Bible study offically the outcome has been me effectivly making deicions that honor God and again, and again, learning to trust God as it is a huge issue, that is yes getting better just incase you wanted to know. ;) Ah, but today at church I had a turn around. Actually rewind a few weeks. So it was a few weeks go while I was doing math and I felt God telling me to learn leadership and I was like okay... later it occured to me through God's grace it might be with the youth group and orginally I wasn't so sure. Now we fastforward to today. Well Pastor Dan Cooley talked about killing chickens (killing fears; witch I kind some what of an idea to do so, but uh, not entirely), so it was a good sermon I can't agrue that. However, he invited us up to pray (quick comment, but in my perspective this church does a lot to get you out of your comfort zone) and not only is that the second time i've gone up to ask for prayer, but he asked to pray for us all who wanted to take a leap of faith and just do what God is calling us to do. Well that put a stop to my procrastionating about talking to Stephanie about helping out with the youth group, so I told her after we prayed I need to talk to her, now I go to talk to telling her I want to be youth in training for leadership and now waiting two weeks... But its good because that totally proves it's God's will for me to learn God's will. Other puzzle pieces that I'm trying to put together is waiting and seeing the least favorite part) and I'm thinking depending on how school is going by January it might determin where I chose to go in life generally after high school. (Maybe another day I'll dig deeper) But for now that's it, so enjoy the puzzle pieces! (Let me know if you find one ;) )

Will You Help Me Find It? (God's Will)

I'm sure your all just as excited about this post as I am, but it's more then just a post about God's will and quotes. Actually it's about me finding God's will and me making deicions that lead to God's will for me. Many of you probably know this new song by Sidewilk Prophets, I love this song so much because it relates to me so much, and it's certainly convicting too. Last week before I finished posting I posted a prayer request on a Facebook group I am part of and I said,

"I know this prayer request is a bit longer then several of my other, but I also just want to thank you all who have been praying for me. So here it goes. (It's not really about my struggles, but you can continue pray for me in that way as well.)

Over the past 8 or so months I've been looking at summer camp jobs and for a few months now I have been looking at this one camp in particular that's in Ridgecrest, North Carolina. I've been feeling it is God's calling for me to work at a summer camp, but with kids, and lately I feel God is leading me on to do more things with kids. However, I'm not normally good with kids and the first prayer request is that I may be able to work with kids and have patience. I really do want to work at this summer camp like I feel it God's calling to me, but I worry I won't be able to do to my lack of "abilities" or "gifts" and I don't want that to be my excuse not to go, nor do I want it to be a reason of unwillingness to not go. I know I have time to spare before I go to this camp (at least a year to two years), but I am currently getting really excited, yet worried, and I would ask that you pray for me as I prepare my heart for this upcoming step. Also pray that I would find something to allow me to have experience in both children and godly leadership.
Thanks.
(http://ridgecrestcamps.com/girls/staff/a-word-to-prospective-staff)"

Yes, I really find it God's calling to work with children and in general to learn leadership, but now as a week has passed by I've learend a little bit more about myself and turns out yes North Carolina is still an option, but Texas is once more an open door... I'm a bit confused at this fact though, but anyway, I'm finding it to be if I actually graduate next year that I can go to Texas to be a typical staffer or have an actual leadership post? But am I willing to to decide wether or not I want to go to Haiti? Hmm...Anyway, I'll keep you informed as I make deicions to what it is I'm doing. Although I've been worried though; worried about weather or not I can actually teach these kids and guide them in a godly manor or if I can even hold the weight of being on staff, now, I really don't want any of those excuses to stop me from trusting God and doing His will. As I went to bed that night (last week) I opened up my Devotional book and found this, "Witch driver you you choose to transport [or have the people you were with aweeks go home with] your infant son or daughter [or the campers] across a lofty mountain range? (a) The one who boast of how fast he can drive and how close to the edge he can steer, or (b) The one who stays as far away for the edge as possible, even if it means driving more slowly?Out of love, you would choose the second driver. And if a baby believer means anything to you, you'll steer clear of the world and not try and see how close to the edge you can come."
 --Bruce H. Wilkinson, Closer Walk
I actually took that as practical advice and now I don't seem as worried. Thinking of it now, I chose to to be worried, it wasn't natural, it was pure and true a choise, and excuse weather or not I wanted it to be one. I also found this quote (but I'm only doing the part that caught me), "When God has put His call on you, woe be to you if you turn to the right hand or to the left. He will do with you what He never did with you before the call came; He will do with you what He is not doing with other people. Let Him have His way."  -Oswald Chambers
I have to admit this one got me pretty good, although, I thought I knew my purpose, but in this case it was just a step. But here's a quote, "God had taken you into His purpose by the Holy Ghost. He is using you now for His purposes throughout the world as He used His Son for the purpose of our salvation. If you seek great things for yourself, you put up a barrier to God's use of you. As long as you have a personal interest in your own character, or any set ambition, you cannot get through into identification with God's intrests.You can only get there by lossing forever any idea of yourself and letting God take you out into His purpose for the world. I have to learn that the aim in life is in God's, not mine. God is using me from His great personal standpoint; all He asks of me is that I trust Him. When I stop telling God what I want, He can catch me up for what He wants without hindrance. He can crumple me up or exalt me; He can do anything He chooses. He simply asks me to have implicit faith in Him and His goodness."-Oswald Chambers 
Currently though I've been needing to spend more time in the Word and in prayer, and I think of Philippians 4:6 " do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."
So real quick back on Texas, I posted a comment on my orginal post saying,  "Thank you all! :D I have an update and you can pray for that to help take place. See I've been looking at another summer camp in Glen Rose, Texas and I was hoping to work there next summer as either an intern or an actual staff. However, with the staff I can chose between a leadership postion or just an ordinary staff member that works apart from the leaders. Depending on how this upcoming school year goes, it determins the path of an intren or a staff, but the problem I'm not so sure about is wether or not I want to take the full postion since I want to go to Haiti the same year and I do believe season too. If you could pray for me to make wise deicisons that would be great!"

Well I better scarm until tomrrow and if you guys want to know anymore about what's going on don't be affraid to comment, Facebbok me, or tweet me.

What Does it Mean to Trust God?

Time after time I think of what it means to trust God? Well given the evidence of my many blog post about trusting in God, I'd say it's proven to be that that trust and patience are among my weaknesses.
In my reasoning I found it a good idea to be a sleuth again, especially after last night, and I only say that because I started to have anxiety at 9 o'clock at night, on Wendnesday night. Well, 15 minutes passed and I had opened up my devotional "Closer Walk" since I've been neglecting it over the past few mornings, and as I go through-out reading them, I eventually find myself copying a few of the quotes. When time had passed maybe about 10 minutes, I caught myself thinking of how these quotes affiliated with both my ambitions and lack of trust alike. Now if you've been following this blog, talking to me, catching up with me now and then, or have known me for a while, you probably know my ambitions and goals to first become a camp councilor and later a missionary (recently been thinking to serve as missionary in England), but as mentioned, I'm failing to trust God with the plans He has given me or entrusted His will in me to do it. The thought of quotes had me thinking of some of my own, and not just any random chatter on Facebook either, no, rather they were quotes I put on Facebook when I was 14, and there was a number of them, but I won't get to them all today. Anyway, that one quote that got to me at this stage in my life read, "a true function is trust." And now my thoughts, other then "oh my goodness, you got to be kiding me!"
The break down of the indivual words:

• - "A" meaning one; complete, or whole.
• -"True" faithful or loyal.
• - (This one I got from Merriam Webster Dictionary) "Latin function-, functio performance, from fungi to perform. . ."
• - "Trust" to have faith in; to have hope in someone.
• What this means to me 2 years later:

To have a complete, fully committed (loyal) relationship, and whole heated trust in God. Just as Provebs 3:5-8 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones."
Take a minute here anf take just a few notes on Solomon's wisdom in Proverbs:

•  "Trust in the LORD with all your heart" just as I sid above, "to have a complete, fully committed (loyal) relationship, and whole hearted trust in God.
• "and lean not on your own understanding;" short and simple, just as many people say "follow your heart", Jeremiah 19:7 says otherwise. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
• "in all your ways submit to him,and he will make your paths straight." Well I think the apostle Paul has this one this one covered in Phillippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
• "Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones." I just think of Psalms 23 for this one.

Now to answer my question, "what does it mean to trust God?" Well if you don't mind the length then it's going to be like a "mini post" I suppose, but it shouldn't take to long.

Time is Equivalent to Sand
As I had already written a rough draft Wednesday and it was actually short. But if you get the impression I'm getting annoyed then you've guessed correctly.
Seeing the fact that is actually been 6 years since I left Michigan to make the distance to New Mexico it's been worth the adventure, practially 4 and a half years following Christ, 4 years doing photography, 3 years since my first missions trip in Denver, 3 years since I last went camping (a fun family list of trips we did while still in Michigan), 2 years since I experienced the best summer camp of my life, 16 months since the first mentioning of moving (here I am today 10 months later approximatly all moved in to Albuquerque), 6 months since I left my old church, and 6 months of blogging. And lastly we have our list of things time has taught me. (19 or so diffirent things. bear with me I might be a bit vauge on some or repeat some.)

1. Life is a grain of sand; don't take it for granted, make most of the time you have.
2. You can always face challanges. Either it be raging storm, a daunting mountain, or even a step of faith.
3. Radical is an expression of trusting God.
4. Waiting produces fruit.
5. Prayer is power.
6. Time increases knowledge, patience,and thankfullness.
7. Grace will grow like grass in the spring time.
8. It's not about me.
9. Changes happen by decisions.
10. Experiences give perspective.
11. Surrender is one of the fires that
12. Confidence allows you to rise above your best.
13. God has shown me the diversity of the body of Christ.
14. Even through trials and tribulations God is good and He makes you more like His Son through them.
15. That no matter what situation you may be in you still need to fight for joy.
16. Never give up even if you know it's in God's hand.
17. Don't get comfortable anywhere because God will move you to where you are uncomfortable. 
18. His love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me.
19. Even through trials and tribulations you MUST worship God.
20. Through pain (spirtual, physical or emotional) you gotta have faith.

Believe it or not, these are things I have learned in both November and just this last Wednesday. (If you are at all thinking, "wow fast learner, eh?" Well I guess you could say that, either that or just assume it's God telling me straight forward. Actually I dont really know why it seams I realize these things quick.)

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”
― Dr. Seuss

If you're at all curious about the quotes well I guess I'll post them tomrrow with the title "God's Will" and kinda throw a few other things like my comments and scripture. (Ah, procrastionation, got to love it.)

Sign Me Up To Serve!

I'm sorry for not posting in a week and not posting about "Through The Night" truth is, I thought since what's been in the news I would tell you a bit more about me and that is, "Sigh me up to serve." Before I get into further details let's get you back into the church going experience and I guess a brief through the night look. As I have previously mentioned the I AM SECOND series that we did at Cottonwood, I may have told you the story, but why don't we look at other people's stories (and a shorter 100 word version of mine) here. Now with that being out of the way for today, I think we can get back to "sign me up to serve" --quick comment of mine here, but I assume by now you all know me enough by either reading this blog or me talking to you to much.--   Now  I'm sure with that last comment of mine <-----  I'm almost sure by now I've made it more then evident what are my interests, goals, and even the things that annoy me; and what exactly are those things.

As I was thinking today what to title this post before I came up with "sigh me up to serve!" I had put down on the notes on my iPod, "The Day Disaster Strikes I Want To Pack Up My Bags and Do Something." (Yes, quite frankly I don't like sitting on the sidelines.)
As I had started to write out a rough draft I found myself starting to type this "Since 2008 I've seen a variety of natural disasters that have occurred." Well yes I have seen a variety of disasters since 2008, I've seen forest fires here in New Mexico, a hurricane in Alabama, earth quakes in Haiti and Japan, tornadoes in Missouri, flooding in the Mid-West, Super Storm Sandy, and the most current in the news in Oklahoma; I'm sure there are others, but that's all that came to mind. As I sit here and think about it, I wonder, "will the depressing news ever stop?" not in this life time it won't. . . I think of my favorite song lyrics. "This world is empty, pale, and poor compared to knowing You my Lord. . ." that right there is dead-on truth. As 5 years have come and past, my heart has started to break, not only has it been heart breaking continually, but it has been basically an inclination; a desire to get up and go. Now when I say "get up and go" I literally mean get up and go; there are no ifs, ands or buts about it. Meaning in these cases I want to ditch whatever it is I am doing and get the heck out of New Mexico and rush as fast as I can to where ever it is that needs relief. If by now you're wondering if I have done disaster relief the answer in no. Yes, it is unfortunate,and yes, I am exasperated at the thought of how I have done pretty much nothing to contribute to helping physically.
The beginning of this individual passion begun at the age of 13 or 14 as one of the couples at our previous Church had done Samaritan's Purse, and every time there was a story they brought back it just gave me more of a desire and a reason to go. With that being said it is certainly time for a story. (Yes I know I have so many stories, but really I just like sharing them)
Now, as afar back as I can remember well how much I loved the thought of serving, and anytime someone brought up on how they had served God (or how they planed to serve God); I pretty much just had my heart jumping up to say, "I want to do that!" To this day the thought of serving fires me up and makes me lose my mind and most certainly get caught in the idea. As I said earlier how much I hate waiting and how annoying I believe it is to be sometimes. (Like I also said, "you'd have better luck teaching a dog to sit.) I certainly consider impatience, talking to much, get annoyed easily, and worrying some of my worst qualities. Even with wanting to serve it's like late 2012 and early 2013, I was annoyed, I wanted to know "where does God want me?" and I wanted change. Tell me, that doesn't mean something to you? For me it makes a world of difference. "Why?" you may ask? Well let me try to put this as simply as I possibly can. See I think even through life's demanding questions we can still ask ourselves, "am I trusting in God?" It may be a bit quaint to think through "how are questions going to help me anyway?" I understand we eventually get answers that we may or may not desire. So how does this make a world of difference? before I answer that, think of the vast number of unanswered questions in life... so many it leaves as all squirming around trying to dig deep to find the answers. Well it makes the difference because it teaches us to trust the unknown (meaning God), and even while questioning, we still have to know God puts those questions there for a reason and not just because He knows it will lead us to trust Him, but because it will lead us to our desires given to us by Christ.
Now my final few things left to say, even in my "anxious anxiety" (that is in reality is failure to trust God) takes me back at the heart and that is to serve and as I love to serve there is no better way to serve other then waiting on God. Let me put that as bluntly as I can, see waiting on God can teach trust, teach worship,instruct, and guide us.  (If you want, I can do a post of "anxious anxiety" and hopefully it will get us in the idea that we can trust God and hopefully get rid of our anxiety).
My question is how is God going to use this waiting experience (other then growing me) going to help me at all in the future of serving? I don't know.
So now with the whole 2012/2013 deal, well I have to admit as much as I love that that church we went to before Cottonwood, I was probably the least joyful person and had no joy that was the result of me not serving. I remember m mom said. "theses people are more like us then you know,"
well there's the optimistic part saying "perspective is key" oh it's key alright to a totally new world.
Now how do I feel about serving? I am serving, what more could I ask for? Sure I may want to go to the missions field, but right now, I'm right where God wants me, and so what if it's not the final destination, but you know what? it's just a roadway I will take to get there. So until next time let's have hope for what God promises in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Sometimes The Known is Just as Bad as the Unknown

Let me just start off this post with saying I'm not entirely sure why I'm posting this. Actually poor choice of words right there, see for I think about two days I've been thinking about it, and by "it" I mean by people who don't really know what their doing in there life. Probably the most irritable part about this post is that I know where I'm going to be, and I've known since I was 13. Anyway I'm just going to get started on this post. Now that we've officially started I'm sure many of you know it is basically my ambition, and most of all my goal. If you're thinking, "It must be great to actually know God's calling for you, that is in comparison to me, I don't know a thing about where I'm going to be." Well, let's be honest, it most certainly goes both ways, and either way it can be really frustrating. In more simple terms, even if you do know what you're going to be doing you are still going to end up waiting; patiently or impatiently over any amount of time and no, I am really not trying to stretch the truth here, I just want to tell you the way I see it. I can't completely relate to what it's like to not know, although from what I understand, you're anxious, worried, annoyed, and feel helpless; and trying not to lose hope. On the other hand if you know what you are doing --and trying to take off and run with it-- you know if you are waiting you'll be on the brink of going batty because impatience has the better part of you. But last week I was asked by a part of a book I was reading it stated, "You must do some serious thinking about your ambitions and ask yourself, 'Is my ambition my master or my servant?" -John White  Talk about major conviction! So even while waiting you just really want to get the "a-O.K". I've kind of taken to heart that during both you can rest in the Almighty's wings and you don't have to be anxious or feel anxiety; you just trust God, and the most humbling thing to realize is that you've failed to trust God, so that got me thinking as I typed up this up earlier, "What about faith the size of a mustard seed and what about faith that can move the mountains?"  and maybe you're thinking the same thing too. Well, I decided to look it up in the Greek the words faith, trust, and hope. --since we have a pretty awesome Greek parallel Bible-- So let me get started here;
"pistis; from peitho8, to persuade. Being persuaded, faith, belief. In general it implies such a knowledge of, assent to, and confidence certain divine truths, especially those of the gospel, as produces good works. . ."
*Peitho; trust.
But I liked this definition:
"Pistos; faithful with the following meanings: certain, worthy to be believed (1 Tim. 1:15; 3:1; 4:9); true, just, trustworthy, observant and steadfast to one's trust, words or promises. . ."      
Personally as I look at the words and definitions I think of Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not evil, to give you a future and a hope."
So now we have hope:
"Elpis; hope, desire of some good with expectation of obtaining it (Acts 16:9; Rom. 5:4; Titus 1:2; 1 John 3:3). The object of hope, the thing hoped for. . . The foundation or ground of hope . . . Trust, confidence in someone, when used with eis. . . , in unto, following (1 Pet. 1:21). Confidence security (Acts 2:26) " So my conclusion to faith like a mustard seed, it's about faith, hope, trust, and wait patiently for the LORD; to know and trust Him. Or in a more simple term Hosea 6:3,
"Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD; His going out as sure as the dawn; He will come to us as the showers, as spring rains that water the eatrh." Now the second part of the question, "what about faith that can move the mountains?" darn good question. My personal thoughts are knowing that you are appointed to do something; a position weather you know at the time or not. Whatever it is you are sure to make much of Christ as you re called by Him. No doubt about it. Not only that, but I want you to know, that when you have faith too trust in God's will you will have the ability to move the mountains and that you can worship while your waiting.
Well that's all I have for now I'll be back posting about "Through The Night."

Trusting in God: Praying to the Almighty

For nearly a month now I've been doing a prayer journal and the results are just amazing! Not only do I actually do them, but I'm actually learning more about God and trusting in Him. Now, you might have seen my post, The Reality of Trust in God, if not, don't feel obligated to actually stop reading this post and go read that one, it's really not that important, ad to be honest it's just another stepping stone. Anyway, my point that I am trying to get across is this; through my devotions and prayer journal I have realized two things, one, I have been convicted of my lack of trust in God, and two, I don't spend enough time in my prayer life. Even through the past 4 years I've started to pray more then ever, but it's true I still haven't spent enough time in prayer and not to mention, it's an ongoing learning process that takes time to learn, perfect, and it has many varieties to it. Now, as I eventually got deeper into reading my devotions and writing out a prayer journal, I had started to question, "what is God trying to teach me through this prayer journal?" and that wasn't the only question running through my head either, I was curious, "hadn't I already been in this boat before?" even at that I was dumbfounded and I also thought what I was learning at first was a bit miscellaneous. It eventually hit me, "oh, duh, God is teaching me to trust in Him!" well that seams logical, does it not? I just wish I could have realized sooner how painfully obvious it was, that's because the days like April 20, April 22, April 23, April 24, April 26, April 30, and May 2 kinda seamed to add up to that, and that is the total opposite from miscellaneous. May 2, wasn't the only day with a surprise either. I write on May 7th perhaps the most intriguing thing I have ever written before! So here it is, "God I want to trust in You; to trust that you have gone before me*, and  that You have plans for me. Let me trust in You and not be anxious** . Oh Lord, let me see that You are training me for Your glory! Father you know me far better then I do, You know the pans You have for me and let me trust in You in all times."
*Based on April 24th's key verse John 10:4, "When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice." (NIV)
**Based on May 8th's key verse Philippians 4:6, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (NASB)
Truth is, I remember writing it, only I didn't really think I knew pray like that; and I mean at all. My guess is that the Spirit was interceding and I actually got to see God the Spirit at work! I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty awesome. I looked back at my devotions and on the first day rather then putting scripture I put a Martin Luther quote, that said, "He puts in into  our mouth that very manor and matters of prayer which He wants us to offer, so that we may see how He is concerned about our need, and may never doubt that this prayer is pleasing to Him and certainly to be answered." I mean really, I don't know about you, (and excuse my emphasis) but
UN-BE-LIEV-ABLE! Nothing, and I mean nothing, is as amazing as that. --to me anyway, but wait I'm sure it wont be the last time.
And now, while on the subject of trusting in God, I think back to the beginning of the year, not only was that one part of me "knowing" --thinking. it was going to be a tough year. But now, I really think it was God's way of telling me, "I'm going to stretch you, grow you, change you, make you like my Son, and teach you new things." First thought on that now, "ooh scary stuff; glad Christ brought me through it." Quite frankly, I wish I would have known and at the same time I'm glad I didn't, if I knew before hand I think it would have proved total failure in trusting God, and since I didn't know it taught me to trust in God.
Actually the way I see it, since last August things have pretty much seamed to be in the forward motion of change, no, not so consistently, but enough to keep me on my toes. My question, --and probably yours, "is that a good thing or a bad thing?" my answer, "perspective is key" I know, that's probably not the best answer I could have given you, but if truth be told, it is better because not only do I think of Romans 8:28, but I think and believe God does things for our good, His glory, and most defiantly not for our pleasure. So, overall, yes, perspective is key. --That is if your like me, trying to be more optimistic.
Now, I'm sure this won't be my last post about trusting in God, or even praying, nor of what I lack in walking with Christ and I think we are all aware of it being a different story almost every I blog, not only that, but I hope that I can realize these life lessons while I'm young, and if you ask me, it's weird thinking of being of the age of 16 and actually learning this... well only because I have met people who haven't learned this stuff until they were older.
Until next time you know what to expect and/or do.

The Purpose Driven Life: Making much Of Christ

Following Christ more then just a decision, more the a life style choice and to me it's a purpose driven life; to live for Christ and Him alone. I remember at our old church (Covenant of Grace) we went to before Cottonwood. I loved the music we sang, and now looking through a new perspective (along with trying to be more optimistic) I see the real message behind the songs, and how they related to me. Before they were just songs to worship; to praise, and I guess more of a seance of desire to what I wanted my life to be like. Now I think it's more of a prayer, so that I may be able to honour my Lord, and to give my life. Now I bet your wondering, "what songs are they?" well we have, Steven Curtis Chapman -Much of You, I Give You My Heart -Hillsong, and One Pure and Holy Passion. I think now looking back these songs have impacted me. I should explain what I feel the difference is between prayer and worship; prayer to me is to spend one on one time with God like as Philippians 4:6 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." As for worship I feel you are able to join creation in the Symphony of Praise (<--- the very thing that changed my very thinking). Let me explain further about making much of Christ; when I was at my other church I felt there was there was little possibilities and opportunities of serving and now being at Cottonwood I feel that I have a more wide spread opportunities to serve and maybe more if I become a member. I'm also finding I have at least two more spiritual gifts then I expected. For example: discernment, I never ever thought of that! Yeah I guess you could say I underestimated the power of Christ, and another one I guess that before I knew a bit about, I guess I'm realizing I can encourage others more then I thought. (You'll have to excuse my "guesses'" I guess it's my new writing style because a grammar book I'm reading says "so" makes your work look sloppy and apparently so does "I guesses".)
So back to following hard and making much of Christ, it like the song One Pure and Holy Passion as it sings, "Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me on magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you"
Now if you're wondering "what does it mean to have one pure and holy passion?" Well I am to believe that anyone who is in Christ has a "God given passion" for example mine is missions and the lost world. Now, before you go on reading, think, "what am I passionate about?" Give yourself a minute; don't rush your thinking, I want you to think deeply about this.
Have you thought about it? If you have I would for you you to tell me in a comment below, don't be shy I would love to hear it.
So with all your thoughts on your passion, I want to ask you, how do you want to glorify God with it? Think if it matches your spiritual gift(s) then it looks like it's time to do some digging about God's will for you.
  “God intentionally allows you to go through painful experiences to equip you for ministry to others.”
― Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth am I Here for?

Impassioned Impatiences

Ever have something that just gets your heart racing? Something that inspires you to get up and do something? Have you ever been so anxious over the future? Or have you ever been just so in over your head about some ideas or thought on where God will have you? Well if any of the above are you then let me be the first to say, "we have something in common" although if it's just enough to get you over your head then you know your going crazy over the idea. So from seeing the picture above it tells my passion and I can tell you that it is perhaps the biggest thing in my life that I love to do and just the fact that if you talk about it I'm all fired up even for being on one mission trip I'm still crazy about the idea. But as of now I'm just going down right insane because I want to go on a missions trip, but it's weird because it's not as bad as a want as it was 7-9 months ago. Don't be alarmed at this. Why? Well because... since I started going to Cottonwood I've been fine and I am a bit confused because all I'm doing is setting up, tearing down, talking to people, and I'm supposedly doing cameras even though I've only done it twice. I don't know it's a bit odd really. Still I want to know how has this improved my ministry out reach? No answer yet and I'm debating weather or not I should expect one, but I really have no need for one, well not for this question anyway.

To be honest and to my surprise I'm not irritated by this fact at all, I guess as long as I'm serving God I'm perfectly joyful. Okay so my rather large point I guess it's more of a part two of what I was trying to get at here and this post should have I guess more of the impatiences part and where it really becomes more of a passion, especially while I wait, I guess it'll all explode and/or exude all over the place and there will be no cleaning it up. Actually if someone cleans it up they better be taking over. ;) Just messing with you guys.
So I kinda wanted to tell you more about Camp Crestridge and I'm sure it won't be my last mention of this camp because it's where I feel God is leading me, thus the leadership, discipleship, fellowship, and other things that I can't think of off the top of my head or just haven't realized yet I dunno.

I guess now my explanation that might be quite elaborate, so let's start with how I got to this point shall we?
It was Summer of 2012, my friends had spent the summer in Gloritea , I thought "hey, that would be so cool working at a summer camp making new friends", knowing me that really should be nothing new, but as I began my search sometime in either November or earlier, but anyway, I thought to move to Texas.... Yes I really and truly said Texas, but long story short God had different plans. Now I had a list of summer camps that I emailed to myself, then I looked at Crestridge, well at first I was a bit discouraged when I found out it was in North Carolina because I guess the general idea was to stay close to family and yet I still don't know what the deal is, but I guess I'll have to wait.... and I thought of this song

Really to me the song is a convicting message because I really think that's what God is trying to tell me, "He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.
 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
-Psalm 46:9-10
Basically just to settle down and wait. I can't begin to tell you how hard that is for me.

Really it's been really difficult to learn and I confess, I know I need to learn this. Waiting has never been so hard, I think of
 Habakkuk 3:16-19,

"I heard and my heart pounded,

my lips quivered at the sound;

decay crept into my bones,

and my legs trembled.

Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity

to come on the nation invading us.

 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.

For the director of music. On my stringed instruments."
To tell you the truth other then it being a convicting subject it's also a very humbling and eye opening experience. I can certainly tell God is at work in my life and yeah it's painful to change but it's all for God's glory and my good; what better could I ask for?
Psalm 62:5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him."

So from here I'll let you know how it goes and how me learning patience and or anything else that goes on. Catch you later!

Confusion To Clairty: The Next Step Change

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
~C.S. Lewis

I'm just going to be straight forward here over 5 days so much has changed! Hard to believe in such a little amount of time too. Yes I'm amazed isn't that great and unexpected? Sure. Anyway that's really not my point  at all.
Truth is since last Friday (the 26th) I was so confused, like more then usual and I'm pretty sure it wasn't because of lack of food in my stomach. I was just so confused about somethings I remember having the answer to. Well it's okay now I'm back to reality. Still I was wondering things like, Where does God want me? What is God teaching me? What is God trying to tell me? And even where is God going to have me? Okay I admit it was weird and dumbfounding. Now I wanted to resolve this as quickly as possible and just as I look around on Facebook a friend posted Hosea 6:3
" Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord; his going out is sure as the dawnhe will come to us as the showers,as the spring rains that water the earth.”   Now I had more of an urge to look up verses about God's will, although I confess I felt like a dog rummaging for food as I was thinking and looking up verses. Yummy spiritual food nom nom nom...  The funny part was I didn't even think of Jeremiah 29:11. So that's I guess a brief background of the story. Now Sunday... Sunday was just an unexpected surprise, I had almost completely for got about the membership class at Cottonwood! Ooh that really was just really really just astonishing, mid blowing, and all around so of God. So I go just because I really though I had nothing better to do. Funny the pastor is... that's in of itself is somewhat sarcastic. I only say that because one of the questions were how did you come to Christ and how did you come to Cottonwood? Well the funny part is because we are doing the I AM SECOND series and we are doing 100 word stories, okay yes I've been procrastinating on doing that and have every good intention on doing that, and none the less because Dan mentioned I haven't sent mine in. So I kinda got he apparently he wants to hear mine. So then how I came to Cottonwood, I confess, as I might have before, but the only reason I had accepted to go there is because I had already made new friends and because like everyone was being nice to Faith and Emily... Oh yes I said it, because of my sisters the least selfish thing I've done for them. Back to the real point, I had decided to talk to Crag and Cheryl afterwords and I was in shock! Okay truthfully I don't recall being so easily surprised in much of anyway, but Craig had mentioned because I was talking more about surrender because that is about one of the three biggest things God is teaching me. Then Craig had mentioned how he saw me struggling O_O okay I don't even know what to say! Over the past 6 months (incredibly long hard months) the diversity of the Body of Christ once again amazes me. AGAIN!
Okay so the answers to where God wants me, I known it was Cottonwood, but now I think I got the real purpose down, and that is to serve there by both becoming a member and to also learn what other spiritual gifts I have and exercising my spiritual gifts too. Still my one (maybe two) question(s) remain, one, how is this going to prepare me for what lies ahead? But that is another thing God it teaching me to both wait for Him and trust in Him. But my next post will be "Impassioned Impatience" just so you can get a grasp on what God is teaching me while my passion is burning me up.
So let's just work this out and get to see what God has planed as I'm kinda lossing it, so pray this wont be that day where I'm a goner for some time.

30 Hour Famine

30 Hour Famine

That's about right. Yes I did it! 29 and a half hours (no not 30 because I walked the dogs that morning, thus I didn't get back until 7:30am). So roughly 30 hours with nothing but juice, water, and 14 youth. It was a really fun, eye opening, humbling, and all around amazing time. Since I started only like twice was I really hungry, but thank goodness for juice! It was good fellowship, worship, games, and any other adjectives and activities we can think of to describe in a youth group. Well being the fact that we didn't actually get to the church office until 7pm it was just pretty swell, although I have to admit, earlier in the day my sisters and I went to play at the basketball court, and exercising and doing a 30 hour famine... uh I don't know what we were thinking, that is if we were. Anyway, I loved how I was so occupied and how I didn't even think of my poor empty, juice filled stomach. Have to admit it felt pretty weird every time I drank juice and sometimes water. Funny before we left for 13 or so hours I posted on my Facebook, "Haven't eaten for ten hours and I'm totally fine and happy with that! 30 Hour Famine with youth, bring it on! 20 more hours to go! — feeling awesome."Yes even before this I was so excited to starve myself and get into this! Like I was attempting to say above, 'twas a amazing radical experience I doubt I am to forget! As many "laugh out loud" moments were just drop over silly and maybe just had something to do with being sleep deprived and empty bellies'. (I'm not complaining because really it was awesome!) But there were still some solemn moments like during the little "devotion" if you will and the worship. Although I've found in the four consistent months that I've been at Cottonwood that they really like Hillsong United. Not that it's bad or anything. Okay back to the joy of starvation to raise money and awareness, and the entertaining weekend too. Well it was a little after 11; the final juice break of the night before we either watched a movie or went to bed, and I bet you can guess what I did. If you said stayed up you guessed correctly. So we watched Shrek, and I guess a little more then half of us fell asleep, not to mention we then decided to watch another movie and that movie was Charlie in the Chocolate Factory. Tell me again why we watched a movie about food and most importantly chocolate in the middle of a famine? I don't know. Although I too want to know how we managed for all 14 youth and leaders managed to share one bathroom? I don't have an answer because I am really badly confused. Ah what a first night/early morning. Now as I gather my stuff from upstairs to down I am actually pretty dead tired believe it or not. Apparently now it's about 6:30 in the morning, I hear my siblings whispering and giggling, dudes' I could have slept in for another half hour and yes on that dead, cold, and hard floor. It's 6:45 and Faith (Miss. Drama Queen) is to think she looks awful! So now it's 7ish and Faith and Emily woke up Megan! Oh I was shocked she didn't chew them up, I mean really from what I had heard is that Megan tired and hungry doesn't go well. Now I am up and everyone else is soon to follow, Caleb comes down with a huge smile saying, "good morning!" I love peppy people, but in the morning? That's confusing, but I'll take it! Well as the rest of us sleepy heads get up we get to have or "breakfast juice"  (different juices but all still juice) and off we go to WalMart (or as I rather say, "Wally World") to go buy toiletries for the Albuquerque Rescue Mission, but I confess Jake whom was driving us there was a bit daunting to drive with, and I'm glad we got there just fine. It now comes to the time to get to the rescue mission and we talk music, I have my iPod, thus I get put in charge of music, so okay I can go with that, and I don't know if I'd use the word "swag" but we had listened to "how sweet it is" by some event concert thing our Church in Michigan did, then Caleb wanted to pick song and I'm cool with that so we listen to Family Force 5 Love Addict, and now we get to downtown playing kj-52 gimme dat with windows rolled down and bass kicking... oh dang that was really something and that made my morning. Now us "dorks" in Jake's car get there first. Anyway the rest of the day was exhausting, we did more worship, more devotion, and more games. I still am puzzled why are we burning calories when we hardly have the carbs to keep going? Ah whatever it was fun right down to eating the balloon popping and scaring the day lights out of me.
And now I'm happy and bummed about being home as I horde the left over juice (nope not sick of juice, well not yet anyway). Now it's good to be home because dad is at last coming home after the long nights of calling home and telling us about the weather and beauty of Virgina, but I'm bummed 'cause I'm not chillin' with my buddies, well I guess I have tomorrow to see them.
Until tomorrow, or Monday comes, or whatever day I post, you know where to find me.

I'm Going To Be A Sleuth... It Appears As Though I need To Get Some Data

As you may know, over the past two weeks I have been really fidelity about reading my devotions' and I've never been more proud of myself for actually doing it. Now you may have heard me also mention about my prayer journal too. But now more then ever I feel both closer to God and the fact that He is undoubtedly preparing me for His will and what seams to be getting ready to tell me something big. Now I am going to try to be a good sleuth and put it to use by observing this situation.

This is a picture I took of a basset hound at the waddle dressed as
Sherlock Holmes
or in this case Sherlock Bones

My hypothesis' is that just maybe God is preparing me for His will as mentioned above, but something bigger and better then my most wild imagination; it could be moving, could be a way for Him to tell me to trust in Him more, and I can't even fathom what this could add up to as I get older. Or the best news would be all of them! Now, I have two logical explanations for theses "hypothesis'"

Reason Number One: "When he, the Spirt of truth, come, he will guide you into all truth. . . . taking what is mine and making it known to you" ~John 16:13-14
It was today's devotion talking about taking care of "baby Christians", and well I now wonder if that means me being a camp councilor like I've been praying, or could it be my neighbor Lexi finally coming to Christ and accepting Him as I too have prayed? Is it perhaps God saying to me, "Mel, I love you and I am taking care of you; don't worry". And my last guess is it saying anything about moving and that we (we as in collectively as a family need to trust God). Not sure but it's just a hypothesis.Reason Number Two:
"When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them" ~John 10:4
Last week's devotion was above and when I say last week's I mean exactly last week's. Anyway, as it talked about God coming before us, well now that I look at it and still examining it I kinda think, "oh the irony..." well no nothing here was ironic, haphazard, nor random. So it was the same week dad was going to Virgina and preparing for it too. Now having realized God went before dad there and now dad is there doing what he does third best.. :)  Now having looked at the devotion again this quote caught me deep. Hard to believe, eh? Well here it goes, "We do not put ourselves fourth; we would rather stay. But it has to be. But Jesus `goes ahead.` He prepares the earthly as well as the heavenly places with us. He will be there when we get to the new place. He is not sending us away from Him, but only leading us fourth with His own gentle hand, saying 'Rise up, my love, and come away with me," Frances Havergal
Now that really triggered my thoughts of moving. Still it had made me wonder with Lexi, maybe that God is making room in Lexi's heart for Him, or still my very thought of being a camp councilor, and God leading me down to go that way. Or God just saying, "Me, I know you are week and anxious, but just trust me". Again it could be God over all saying "trust me.
Again I still don't know, that's why I labeled it as a hypothesis. But if it's neither of these things then I am going to be more confused and lost as ever.Whereas to me moving is one of the few things I'm optimistic about and I think it practically ostensible. I know I am anxious and stoked to see what happens as I've mentioned before. I confess I'd rather say, "au revoir" when the time come opposed to getting ahead of myself over and over again. Thus, I apologize because by now you probably think I sound like a broken record.

The Reality of Trust in God

So last night my sisters and I had stayed up until midnight watching Indiana Jones Kingdom of the Crystal Skull I must say after that I was exhausted and so I went to bed, but that wasn't all, see I normally listen to music only last night (or technically this morning) I was praying and after that I slept pretty good. Then at 7:30am my alarm goes off and I have to unlock my iPod and turn off the sound so I am not to be bothered by the alarm again. Now being of the hour of 9:00am I get up to read one of my three devotions, first was Sarah Young, Jesus Calling and it was saying basically to listen to God. Well I was more convicted at one of the scriptures, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." ~Proverbs 19:21
There was a little thought about it, now I come out in the living room to get my second devotion book, Closer Walk, Bruce H. Wilkinson and once again convicted by scripture that said, "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirt, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things" ~John 14:26
I still go on reading and it has Walk With R. A. Torrey, next thing you know I'm reading, "We need only remember that this responsibility is not really upon us but upon another, the Holy Spirt. If He is permitted to do the work, our fears and cares will vanish."
So by this time I had realized God really wants me to learn to trust Him, and being that me trusting in Him will be the glue that holds all those things that the Lord will one day do with me! Pretty stoked.
Then I go to write in my "Prayer Journal" and at the top I put a quote from either the devotion or a scripture that adds to what I've been taught. Now without really even being aware of it I think Proverbs 3:5-? so I go to my Bible to copy Proverbs 3:5-8 after I read through it to see what I was to copy, Proverbs 3:5-8 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones."So now I write in the little section Prayer Request(s) and first thing I write,
"That I may trust in the Lord".
Yeah I'm pretty sure God wants me to learn to Trust in Him at all times. Give me a minute I'll explain what I feel God's telling me to learn and what He's teaching me. See I kind knew that I was lacking in faith because I have gone looking ahead and all that other stuff, thus getting me anxious. See God has those little things of God we don't see, then when we do we are like, "oooohhhh now I see what you're doing God! Wow good think you're in charge". Another reason I've pretty much failed was me getting ahead of myself, I thought, "oh hey look at me I'm walking by faith"... Uhh now I kinda see I was laking because I totally wasn't thinking fully.  Personally the anxious feeling could have just been God saying trust Me Mel, I got this just keep walking.
Now my explanation of what I feel God is teaching me and wanting me to learn:
LEADERSHIP: Well, I may have said this a while back, but it still remains to be true. Being the fact that the summer camp I've been looking at had the jobs of being a leader I think it would be ideal.DISCIPLESHIP: I suppose to me it's a better... well more effective way of teaching the Bible. That way I'm not stumbling all over the place trying to put a basic view over theology.FORGIVENESS: I'm not sure why. Maybe for what ever reason it is I'll be glad God has taught me this part of grace.LOVE: Not sure why either, I just assume it it to show the love of Christ to all believers and nonbelievers. Oh I almost forgot about my third devotion! So it was about our foundations being shaking, thus it meant more to me about trusting in God. Actually I wasn't so sure about the devotions, but here I'll give you my list of verses and I guess short notes.
Proverbs 19:21
Psalm 9:9-10
Psalm 62
Isaiah 12
Jeremiah 12:7-10
Zephaniah 3:1-2 *I thought it as a prayer so that I may do what Isreal didn't.*
Matthew 11:25-30
Psalm 16:8
1 Peter 5:7I had actually put a note at the top say, "Today's key is to TRUST in God at all times!"

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
~Corrie Ten Boom