Trail Mix

I'm sorry I haven't posted in two weeks, but I've been kind of busy.
You might have noticed today's title and post is a bit indigenous, conspicuous, erratic, and weird.
After all, I've been experiencing a lot of change, growth, learning, and trials in the expanse of 7 months. I guess you could say I need time to think and process, but even though I haven't posted for two weeks my brain acquired several different thoughts on what to post today, and truth is, it's going to be a bit like trail mix or complex in better words.
Many of you might think my brain is over run by chaotic thoughts, running at 2,857 thoughts per second, or even possessed by many thoughts, and maybe while all those may all seam true it's how I function.
Even through this astronomical and radical transformation has brought me to my knees I know now it really is really where I go from here leaving all behind and striving for God's will in my life.
Despite it has only been 7 months of change, growth, learning, and trails, it has also been 7 months of me finding out who I am, and to be honest, I really thought I had it figured out, and turns out over the past 3 years I've only scratched the surface. Probably the least bitter of the reality I've tasted in the past 7 months.
As early last week came my thoughts were intruded by the thought of change and how I am stepping into it even deeper then the last time. One thing you should know about me: I love change, but quite frankly it scares me half to death, and that's where my thoughts were intruded and screaming, "Run! Run for the hills! Whatever you do run! Run away! Personally I would highly recommend you don't run from change because I know for a fact that usually ends up being more harm then good, and believe me, I know it's like that nasty cough medicine we had to take as kids to stop the coughing and make us feel better. Yuck. Still has to do with where I go from one spot to the next.
Like Robert Frost's poem,
"Two roads diverged in a wood and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." ~Robert Frost
and even in my brief testimony.
4 and a half years ago I gave my life to Christ, but since then it's been a pilgrimage and an unforgettable on at that. However, through these years I've had small misdirections to where it is I'll go from here after some sort of significants has happened, but more commonly looked upon today as trial and error.
Really as I sit here I'm thinking of Haiti, one because a team of 13 from Cottonwood church went and came back yesterday, two I really want to go, that is if it's God's will, and most importantly my parents as they're thinking about adopting a child from there. I'm excited and nervous all at once, ah yes, so much going on in my heart that thinks about Haiti.
Mainly important though in two weeks I get back to youth group and this time being more involved then I have been in the past 10 months. I guess you could say the past 7 months have been an adventure and not to mention, I myself love adventures and maybe that's why I'm enjoying this chapter of my life because soon I will be taking things to new heights. I remember last week talking to some friends and being pretty stressed, not about talking to them, but being stressed by several things going on in life. I'm kind of laughing a myself though because I typically say "expect the unexpected when least expected." Take it from me, I can't even hold up to my own saying and even with my brain running a mile a minute I don't even know what to expect! I think my new saying will be "let the hands of God be the hands time in your future and in the plans the Lord has for you; let your feet be guided by the lamp that leads to the path of purpose."
As I've been telling people, "time is a determining factor for what I do" and so is school, if it is God's will I hope to graduate next year, thus allowing me to go to Texas and hopefully following that leaving to go to England for one year. But let's get it straight, this is my plan, doesn't mean it's God's even though I seam determined that it should be.
Speaking of determination, we had a cockroach in our house and mom made a comment about my "strong heart" and I was quick to respond saying the only thing strong in my heart is it's will... maybe thinking about it now normally that's true because I'm pretty stubborn anyway for what ever reason it may be.
Although I seam to be in so many directions, but I'm not going to call it misdirection, I'm going to call it one step away from another big step.
But on the thought of steps; I've realized I have taken more in 7 months then I have in my entire life. Yeah crazy I know, but hey, so is trail mix. Haha sorry couldn't help it.
Anyway I'll catch you all later.