Friday, May 31, 2013

What Does it Mean to Trust God?

Time after time I think of what it means to trust God? Well given the evidence of my many blog post about trusting in God, I'd say it's proven to be that that trust and patience are among my weaknesses.
In my reasoning I found it a good idea to be a sleuth again, especially after last night, and I only say that because I started to have anxiety at 9 o'clock at night, on Wendnesday night. Well, 15 minutes passed and I had opened up my devotional "Closer Walk" since I've been neglecting it over the past few mornings, and as I go through-out reading them, I eventually find myself copying a few of the quotes. When time had passed maybe about 10 minutes, I caught myself thinking of how these quotes affiliated with both my ambitions and lack of trust alike. Now if you've been following this blog, talking to me, catching up with me now and then, or have known me for a while, you probably know my ambitions and goals to first become a camp councilor and later a missionary (recently been thinking to serve as missionary in England), but as mentioned, I'm failing to trust God with the plans He has given me or entrusted His will in me to do it. The thought of quotes had me thinking of some of my own, and not just any random chatter on Facebook either, no, rather they were quotes I put on Facebook when I was 14, and there was a number of them, but I won't get to them all today. Anyway, that one quote that got to me at this stage in my life read, "a true function is trust." And now my thoughts, other then "oh my goodness, you got to be kiding me!"
The break down of the indivual words:
  • - "A" meaning one; complete, or whole.
  • -"True" faithful or loyal.
  • - (This one I got from Merriam Webster Dictionary) "Latin function-, functio performance, from fungi to perform. . ."
  • - "Trust" to have faith in; to have hope in someone.
  • What this means to me 2 years later:
To have a complete, fully committed (loyal) relationship, and whole heated trust in God. Just as Provebs 3:5-8 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones."
Take a minute here anf take just a few notes on Solomon's wisdom in Proverbs:
  •  "Trust in the LORD with all your heart" just as I sid above, "to have a complete, fully committed (loyal) relationship, and whole hearted trust in God.
  • "and lean not on your own understanding;" short and simple, just as many people say "follow your heart", Jeremiah 19:7 says otherwise. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
  • "in all your ways submit to him,and he will make your paths straight." Well I think the apostle Paul has this one this one covered in Phillippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
  • "Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones." I just think of Psalms 23 for this one.
Now to answer my question, "what does it mean to trust God?" Well if you don't mind the length then it's going to be like a "mini post" I suppose, but it shouldn't take to long.

Time is Equivalent to Sand
As I had already written a rough draft Wednesday and it was actually short. But if you get the impression I'm getting annoyed then you've guessed correctly.
Seeing the fact that is actually been 6 years since I left Michigan to make the distance to New Mexico it's been worth the adventure, practially 4 and a half years following Christ, 4 years doing photography, 3 years since my first missions trip in Denver, 3 years since I last went camping (a fun family list of trips we did while still in Michigan), 2 years since I experienced the best summer camp of my life, 16 months since the first mentioning of moving (here I am today 10 months later approximatly all moved in to Albuquerque), 6 months since I left my old church, and 6 months of blogging. And lastly we have our list of things time has taught me. (19 or so diffirent things. bear with me I might be a bit vauge on some or repeat some.)
  1. Life is a grain of sand; don't take it for granted, make most of the time you have.
  2. You can always face challanges. Either it be raging storm, a daunting mountain, or even a step of faith.
  3. Radical is an expression of trusting God.
  4. Waiting produces fruit.
  5. Prayer is power.
  6. Time increases knowledge, patience,and thankfullness.
  7. Grace will grow like grass in the spring time.
  8. It's not about me.
  9. Changes happen by decisions.
  10. Experiences give perspective.
  11. Surrender is one of the fires that
  12. Confidence allows you to rise above your best.
  13. God has shown me the diversity of the body of Christ.
  14. Even through trials and tribulations God is good and He makes you more like His Son through them.
  15. That no matter what situation you may be in you still need to fight for joy.
  16. Never give up even if you know it's in God's hand.
  17. Don't get comfortable anywhere because God will move you to where you are uncomfortable. 
  18. His love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me.
  19. Even through trials and tribulations you MUST worship God.
  20. Through pain (spirtual, physical or emotional) you gotta have faith.
Believe it or not, these are things I have learned in both November and just this last Wednesday. (If you are at all thinking, "wow fast learner, eh?" Well I guess you could say that, either that or just assume it's God telling me straight forward. Actually I dont really know why it seams I realize these things quick.)

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”
― Dr. Seuss


If you're at all curious about the quotes well I guess I'll post them tomrrow with the title "God's Will" and kinda throw a few other things like my comments and scripture. (Ah, procrastionation, got to love it.)

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Sign Me Up To Serve!

I'm sorry for not posting in a week and not posting about "Through The Night" truth is, I thought since what's been in the news I would tell you a bit more about me and that is, "Sigh me up to serve." Before I get into further details let's get you back into the church going experience and I guess a brief through the night look. As I have previously mentioned the I AM SECOND series that we did at Cottonwood, I may have told you the story, but why don't we look at other people's stories (and a shorter 100 word version of mine) here. Now with that being out of the way for today, I think we can get back to "sign me up to serve" --quick comment of mine here, but I assume by now you all know me enough by either reading this blog or me talking to you to much.--   Now  I'm sure with that last comment of mine <-----  I'm almost sure by now I've made it more then evident what are my interests, goals, and even the things that annoy me; and what exactly are those things.

As I was thinking today what to title this post before I came up with "sigh me up to serve!" I had put down on the notes on my iPod, "The Day Disaster Strikes I Want To Pack Up My Bags and Do Something." (Yes, quite frankly I don't like sitting on the sidelines.)
As I had started to write out a rough draft I found myself starting to type this "Since 2008 I've seen a variety of natural disasters that have occurred." Well yes I have seen a variety of disasters since 2008, I've seen forest fires here in New Mexico, a hurricane in Alabama, earth quakes in Haiti and Japan, tornadoes in Missouri, flooding in the Mid-West, Super Storm Sandy, and the most current in the news in Oklahoma; I'm sure there are others, but that's all that came to mind. As I sit here and think about it, I wonder, "will the depressing news ever stop?" not in this life time it won't. . . I think of my favorite song lyrics. "This world is empty, pale, and poor compared to knowing You my Lord. . ." that right there is dead-on truth. As 5 years have come and past, my heart has started to break, not only has it been heart breaking continually, but it has been basically an inclination; a desire to get up and go. Now when I say "get up and go" I literally mean get up and go; there are no ifs, ands or buts about it. Meaning in these cases I want to ditch whatever it is I am doing and get the heck out of New Mexico and rush as fast as I can to where ever it is that needs relief. If by now you're wondering if I have done disaster relief the answer in no. Yes, it is unfortunate,and yes, I am exasperated at the thought of how I have done pretty much nothing to contribute to helping physically.
The beginning of this individual passion begun at the age of 13 or 14 as one of the couples at our previous Church had done Samaritan's Purse, and every time there was a story they brought back it just gave me more of a desire and a reason to go. With that being said it is certainly time for a story. (Yes I know I have so many stories, but really I just like sharing them)
Now, as afar back as I can remember well how much I loved the thought of serving, and anytime someone brought up on how they had served God (or how they planed to serve God); I pretty much just had my heart jumping up to say, "I want to do that!" To this day the thought of serving fires me up and makes me lose my mind and most certainly get caught in the idea. As I said earlier how much I hate waiting and how annoying I believe it is to be sometimes. (Like I also said, "you'd have better luck teaching a dog to sit.) I certainly consider impatience, talking to much, get annoyed easily, and worrying some of my worst qualities. Even with wanting to serve it's like late 2012 and early 2013, I was annoyed, I wanted to know "where does God want me?" and I wanted change. Tell me, that doesn't mean something to you? For me it makes a world of difference. "Why?" you may ask? Well let me try to put this as simply as I possibly can. See I think even through life's demanding questions we can still ask ourselves, "am I trusting in God?" It may be a bit quaint to think through "how are questions going to help me anyway?" I understand we eventually get answers that we may or may not desire. So how does this make a world of difference? before I answer that, think of the vast number of unanswered questions in life... so many it leaves as all squirming around trying to dig deep to find the answers. Well it makes the difference because it teaches us to trust the unknown (meaning God), and even while questioning, we still have to know God puts those questions there for a reason and not just because He knows it will lead us to trust Him, but because it will lead us to our desires given to us by Christ.
Now my final few things left to say, even in my "anxious anxiety" (that is in reality is failure to trust God) takes me back at the heart and that is to serve and as I love to serve there is no better way to serve other then waiting on God. Let me put that as bluntly as I can, see waiting on God can teach trust, teach worship,instruct, and guide us.  (If you want, I can do a post of "anxious anxiety" and hopefully it will get us in the idea that we can trust God and hopefully get rid of our anxiety).
My question is how is God going to use this waiting experience (other then growing me) going to help me at all in the future of serving? I don't know.
So now with the whole 2012/2013 deal, well I have to admit as much as I love that that church we went to before Cottonwood, I was probably the least joyful person and had no joy that was the result of me not serving. I remember m mom said. "theses people are more like us then you know,"
well there's the optimistic part saying "perspective is key" oh it's key alright to a totally new world.
Now how do I feel about serving? I am serving, what more could I ask for? Sure I may want to go to the missions field, but right now, I'm right where God wants me, and so what if it's not the final destination, but you know what? it's just a roadway I will take to get there. So until next time let's have hope for what God promises in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Sometimes The Known is Just as Bad as the Unknown

Let me just start off this post with saying I'm not entirely sure why I'm posting this. Actually poor choice of words right there, see for I think about two days I've been thinking about it, and by "it" I mean by people who don't really know what their doing in there life. Probably the most irritable part about this post is that I know where I'm going to be, and I've known since I was 13. Anyway I'm just going to get started on this post. Now that we've officially started I'm sure many of you know it is basically my ambition, and most of all my goal. If you're thinking, "It must be great to actually know God's calling for you, that is in comparison to me, I don't know a thing about where I'm going to be." Well, let's be honest, it most certainly goes both ways, and either way it can be really frustrating. In more simple terms, even if you do know what you're going to be doing you are still going to end up waiting; patiently or impatiently over any amount of time and no, I am really not trying to stretch the truth here, I just want to tell you the way I see it. I can't completely relate to what it's like to not know, although from what I understand, you're anxious, worried, annoyed, and feel helpless; and trying not to lose hope. On the other hand if you know what you are doing --and trying to take off and run with it-- you know if you are waiting you'll be on the brink of going batty because impatience has the better part of you. But last week I was asked by a part of a book I was reading it stated, "You must do some serious thinking about your ambitions and ask yourself, 'Is my ambition my master or my servant?" -John White  Talk about major conviction! So even while waiting you just really want to get the "a-O.K". I've kind of taken to heart that during both you can rest in the Almighty's wings and you don't have to be anxious or feel anxiety; you just trust God, and the most humbling thing to realize is that you've failed to trust God, so that got me thinking as I typed up this up earlier, "What about faith the size of a mustard seed and what about faith that can move the mountains?"  and maybe you're thinking the same thing too. Well, I decided to look it up in the Greek the words faith, trust, and hope. --since we have a pretty awesome Greek parallel Bible-- So let me get started here;
"pistis; from peitho8, to persuade. Being persuaded, faith, belief. In general it implies such a knowledge of, assent to, and confidence certain divine truths, especially those of the gospel, as produces good works. . ."
*Peitho; trust.
But I liked this definition:
"Pistos; faithful with the following meanings: certain, worthy to be believed (1 Tim. 1:15; 3:1; 4:9); true, just, trustworthy, observant and steadfast to one's trust, words or promises. . ."      
Personally as I look at the words and definitions I think of Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not evil, to give you a future and a hope."
So now we have hope:
"Elpis; hope, desire of some good with expectation of obtaining it (Acts 16:9; Rom. 5:4; Titus 1:2; 1 John 3:3). The object of hope, the thing hoped for. . . The foundation or ground of hope . . . Trust, confidence in someone, when used with eis. . . , in unto, following (1 Pet. 1:21). Confidence security (Acts 2:26) " So my conclusion to faith like a mustard seed, it's about faith, hope, trust, and wait patiently for the LORD; to know and trust Him. Or in a more simple term Hosea 6:3,
"Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD; His going out as sure as the dawn; He will come to us as the showers, as spring rains that water the eatrh." Now the second part of the question, "what about faith that can move the mountains?" darn good question. My personal thoughts are knowing that you are appointed to do something; a position weather you know at the time or not. Whatever it is you are sure to make much of Christ as you re called by Him. No doubt about it. Not only that, but I want you to know, that when you have faith too trust in God's will you will have the ability to move the mountains and that you can worship while your waiting.
Well that's all I have for now I'll be back posting about "Through The Night."

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Trusting in God: Praying to the Almighty

For nearly a month now I've been doing a prayer journal and the results are just amazing! Not only do I actually do them, but I'm actually learning more about God and trusting in Him. Now, you might have seen my post, The Reality of Trust in God, if not, don't feel obligated to actually stop reading this post and go read that one, it's really not that important, ad to be honest it's just another stepping stone. Anyway, my point that I am trying to get across is this; through my devotions and prayer journal I have realized two things, one, I have been convicted of my lack of trust in God, and two, I don't spend enough time in my prayer life. Even through the past 4 years I've started to pray more then ever, but it's true I still haven't spent enough time in prayer and not to mention, it's an ongoing learning process that takes time to learn, perfect, and it has many varieties to it. Now, as I eventually got deeper into reading my devotions and writing out a prayer journal, I had started to question, "what is God trying to teach me through this prayer journal?" and that wasn't the only question running through my head either, I was curious, "hadn't I already been in this boat before?" even at that I was dumbfounded and I also thought what I was learning at first was a bit miscellaneous. It eventually hit me, "oh, duh, God is teaching me to trust in Him!" well that seams logical, does it not? I just wish I could have realized sooner how painfully obvious it was, that's because the days like April 20, April 22, April 23, April 24, April 26, April 30, and May 2 kinda seamed to add up to that, and that is the total opposite from miscellaneous. May 2, wasn't the only day with a surprise either. I write on May 7th perhaps the most intriguing thing I have ever written before! So here it is, "God I want to trust in You; to trust that you have gone before me*, and  that You have plans for me. Let me trust in You and not be anxious** . Oh Lord, let me see that You are training me for Your glory! Father you know me far better then I do, You know the pans You have for me and let me trust in You in all times."
*Based on April 24th's key verse John 10:4, "When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice." (NIV)
**Based on May 8th's key verse Philippians 4:6, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (NASB)

Truth is, I remember writing it, only I didn't really think I knew pray like that; and I mean at all. My guess is that the Spirit was interceding and I actually got to see God the Spirit at work! I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty awesome. I looked back at my devotions and on the first day rather then putting scripture I put a Martin Luther quote, that said, "He puts in into  our mouth that very manor and matters of prayer which He wants us to offer, so that we may see how He is concerned about our need, and may never doubt that this prayer is pleasing to Him and certainly to be answered." I mean really, I don't know about you, (and excuse my emphasis) but
UN-BE-LIEV-ABLE! Nothing, and I mean nothing, is as amazing as that. --to me anyway, but wait I'm sure it wont be the last time.
And now, while on the subject of trusting in God, I think back to the beginning of the year, not only was that one part of me "knowing" --thinking. it was going to be a tough year. But now, I really think it was God's way of telling me, "I'm going to stretch you, grow you, change you, make you like my Son, and teach you new things." First thought on that now, "ooh scary stuff; glad Christ brought me through it." Quite frankly, I wish I would have known and at the same time I'm glad I didn't, if I knew before hand I think it would have proved total failure in trusting God, and since I didn't know it taught me to trust in God.
Actually the way I see it, since last August things have pretty much seamed to be in the forward motion of change, no, not so consistently, but enough to keep me on my toes. My question, --and probably yours, "is that a good thing or a bad thing?" my answer, "perspective is key" I know, that's probably not the best answer I could have given you, but if truth be told, it is better because not only do I think of Romans 8:28, but I think and believe God does things for our good, His glory, and most defiantly not for our pleasure. So, overall, yes, perspective is key. --That is if your like me, trying to be more optimistic.
Now, I'm sure this won't be my last post about trusting in God, or even praying, nor of what I lack in walking with Christ and I think we are all aware of it being a different story almost every I blog, not only that, but I hope that I can realize these life lessons while I'm young, and if you ask me, it's weird thinking of being of the age of 16 and actually learning this... well only because I have met people who haven't learned this stuff until they were older.
Until next time you know what to expect and/or do.

Monday, May 6, 2013

The Purpose Driven Life: Making much Of Christ

Following Christ more then just a decision, more the a life style choice and to me it's a purpose driven life; to live for Christ and Him alone. I remember at our old church (Covenant of Grace) we went to before Cottonwood. I loved the music we sang, and now looking through a new perspective (along with trying to be more optimistic) I see the real message behind the songs, and how they related to me. Before they were just songs to worship; to praise, and I guess more of a seance of desire to what I wanted my life to be like. Now I think it's more of a prayer, so that I may be able to honour my Lord, and to give my life. Now I bet your wondering, "what songs are they?" well we have, Steven Curtis Chapman -Much of You, I Give You My Heart -Hillsong, and One Pure and Holy Passion. I think now looking back these songs have impacted me. I should explain what I feel the difference is between prayer and worship; prayer to me is to spend one on one time with God like as Philippians 4:6 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." As for worship I feel you are able to join creation in the Symphony of Praise (<--- the very thing that changed my very thinking). Let me explain further about making much of Christ; when I was at my other church I felt there was there was little possibilities and opportunities of serving and now being at Cottonwood I feel that I have a more wide spread opportunities to serve and maybe more if I become a member. I'm also finding I have at least two more spiritual gifts then I expected. For example: discernment, I never ever thought of that! Yeah I guess you could say I underestimated the power of Christ, and another one I guess that before I knew a bit about, I guess I'm realizing I can encourage others more then I thought. (You'll have to excuse my "guesses'" I guess it's my new writing style because a grammar book I'm reading says "so" makes your work look sloppy and apparently so does "I guesses".)
So back to following hard and making much of Christ, it like the song One Pure and Holy Passion as it sings, "Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me on magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you"
Now if you're wondering "what does it mean to have one pure and holy passion?" Well I am to believe that anyone who is in Christ has a "God given passion" for example mine is missions and the lost world. Now, before you go on reading, think, "what am I passionate about?" Give yourself a minute; don't rush your thinking, I want you to think deeply about this.

Have you thought about it? If you have I would for you you to tell me in a comment below, don't be shy I would love to hear it.
So with all your thoughts on your passion, I want to ask you, how do you want to glorify God with it? Think if it matches your spiritual gift(s) then it looks like it's time to do some digging about God's will for you.
  “God intentionally allows you to go through painful experiences to equip you for ministry to others.”
Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth am I Here for?

Friday, May 3, 2013

Impassioned Impatiences

Ever have something that just gets your heart racing? Something that inspires you to get up and do something? Have you ever been so anxious over the future? Or have you ever been just so in over your head about some ideas or thought on where God will have you? Well if any of the above are you then let me be the first to say, "we have something in common" although if it's just enough to get you over your head then you know your going crazy over the idea. So from seeing the picture above it tells my passion and I can tell you that it is perhaps the biggest thing in my life that I love to do and just the fact that if you talk about it I'm all fired up even for being on one mission trip I'm still crazy about the idea. But as of now I'm just going down right insane because I want to go on a missions trip, but it's weird because it's not as bad as a want as it was 7-9 months ago. Don't be alarmed at this. Why? Well because... since I started going to Cottonwood I've been fine and I am a bit confused because all I'm doing is setting up, tearing down, talking to people, and I'm supposedly doing cameras even though I've only done it twice. I don't know it's a bit odd really. Still I want to know how has this improved my ministry out reach? No answer yet and I'm debating weather or not I should expect one, but I really have no need for one, well not for this question anyway.
To be honest and to my surprise I'm not irritated by this fact at all, I guess as long as I'm serving God I'm perfectly joyful. Okay so my rather large point I guess it's more of a part two of what I was trying to get at here and this post should have I guess more of the impatiences part and where it really becomes more of a passion, especially while I wait, I guess it'll all explode and/or exude all over the place and there will be no cleaning it up. Actually if someone cleans it up they better be taking over. ;) Just messing with you guys.
So I kinda wanted to tell you more about Camp Crestridge and I'm sure it won't be my last mention of this camp because it's where I feel God is leading me, thus the leadership, discipleship, fellowship, and other things that I can't think of off the top of my head or just haven't realized yet I dunno.
I guess now my explanation that might be quite elaborate, so let's start with how I got to this point shall we?
It was Summer of 2012, my friends had spent the summer in Gloritea , I thought "hey, that would be so cool working at a summer camp making new friends", knowing me that really should be nothing new, but as I began my search sometime in either November or earlier, but anyway, I thought to move to Texas.... Yes I really and truly said Texas, but long story short God had different plans. Now I had a list of summer camps that I emailed to myself, then I looked at Crestridge, well at first I was a bit discouraged when I found out it was in North Carolina because I guess the general idea was to stay close to family and yet I still don't know what the deal is, but I guess I'll have to wait.... and I thought of this song

Really to me the song is a convicting message because I really think that's what God is trying to tell me, "He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.
 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
-Psalm 46:9-10

Basically just to settle down and wait. I can't begin to tell you how hard that is for me.
Really it's been really difficult to learn and I confess, I know I need to learn this. Waiting has never been so hard, I think of
 Habakkuk 3:16-19,
"I heard and my heart pounded,
my lips quivered at the sound;
decay crept into my bones,
and my legs trembled.
Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity
to come on the nation invading us.
 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.
For the director of music. On my stringed instruments."
To tell you the truth other then it being a convicting subject it's also a very humbling and eye opening experience. I can certainly tell God is at work in my life and yeah it's painful to change but it's all for God's glory and my good; what better could I ask for?
Psalm 62:5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him."

So from here I'll let you know how it goes and how me learning patience and or anything else that goes on. Catch you later!