How Willing Am I? Good Question.

   Approximately a week ago I got my head in the clouds by thinking and planning what I'm going to do after I graduate high school, hopefully May of 2014. However, it was last week I tried to tell you about my heart for missions, but apparently all I had written disappeared probably into the vastness of space. But let's try again in a brief paragraph or two. Last week at church was "Missions Sunday", but hearing the testimonies from some of those who went and watching the slide show they put on has touched my heart the same way it usually does, and that's breaking it, making me wanting to go there right that minute with no delay and setting a blaze of zeal in my heart. Furthermore I decided to dig deeper into some ministries I could work with since someone from Compassion International was there however, some of these ministries were ones yes like Compassion, but they were Mercy Ships and Operation Blessings. I looked more into Mercy Ships for two reasons, one is because my mom had given me the idea since I'm trying to get into Moody Bible Institute and that's what my cousin Amy did, and two because Operation Blessings just did missions trips within the states and not that we don't need missionaries here in the states, it just I rather go to a third world country. However, this is only the beginning to the question, "how willing am I?" well to be honest for about 3 years since my first missions trip it has become a very real desire to serve in missions, so I guess you could say willingness there has never been an issue, but that's not the whole picture here. The story goes as I was thinking about Mercy Ships and I was looking at what to expect all digging deep to see what exactly I was getting myself in to, well as my sleuth in me found it was $700 a month to serve (I know, weird for you to give your money to serve) and I thought "OK I'll leave after Thanksgiving of 2014 if I graduate and go for 6 months since I have limited funds and will already be trying to raise $1400-$1700 to go for that time." After the week progressed I started to question, "how willing am I?" It was earlier this year I was reading in a devotion about how the Savoir waits ahead, and honestly when I was convicted by what appeared to be unwillingness and most of all failure to trust God again.
My breath is taken away at all that has happened in 2013, from change to leaps of faith it has all been a hard thing to take in but worth my life.
But this week I want to challenge you all as I have been. I want you all to listen for God's voice taking the leap of faith (and if you'd like to talk to me on Sunday at church that's fine too I'd be happy to pray with you) I know when I was challenged to take the leap to tell my youth leader I want to learn leadership I felt humbled all because the pastor invited us up to pray for us taking leaps of faith. Believe me it's worth getting rid of every anxious feeling, but as a friend told me that wild 4th of July, "If you are in God's will you won't miss a thing", but even more so when you take that first step the others just keep coming and you begin to feel confident and strong in Christ.

Habakkuk 3:19
The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.
For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.

Faith receiveth the promise, embraceth it, and comforteth the soul unspeakably with it. Faith is so great an artist in arguing and reasoning with the soul, that it will bring over the hardest heart that it hath to deal with. It will bring to my remembrance at once, both my vileness against God, and his goodness towards me; it will show me, that though I deserve not to breathe in the air, yet that God will have me an heir of glory.
John Bunyan

A Passion Of a Lifetime

Yesterday was "Missions Sunday" at Cottonwood and it was a service dedicated to hearing some of the testimonies

Starts With Me? (Where I Go From Here)

About a month ago here I used a song to help out with my blog post to add perspective and that musical touch I don't usually add, but turns out it inspires my musings by allowing me to clear out my head and observe the situation in a thoughtful direction. (see what I mean by musings?)

Anyway, you may have seen the post last month about finding God's will, I assume you did or this post probably wouldn't be making much sense at all, and if you didn't I'm sorry but this one has a little bit more connection to that then any other related link I've done before.
However, if you have read the post from last month this is the official update to what's going on with that situation and maybe even more to come, but this gives me the perfect time to mention what you can expect next month, "Countdown From 10: What I Hope To See In The Next 10 Months", and don't worry I'll give you the updates on how I am doing with those "tasks" and so forth. But now today's post about new questions being raised, starting ministry, and what's the deal with me getting ahead of myself?

New Questions Being Raised?
"You must do some serious thinking about your ambitions and ask yourself, 'Is this ambition my master or servant?"
 -John White

"Does it make much sense to pray for guidance about the future if we are not obeying in the thing that lies before us today? How many momentous events in Scripture depend on person's seemingly small act of obedience! Rest assured: Do what God tells you to do now, and, depend upon it, you will be shown what to do next." -Elizabeth Elliot

As past posts have made it clear I'm not a fan of waiting and all  that time I was asking, "What does it mean to trust God?" Eureka! But I've had the answer for quite a while now. My answer on what does it mean to trust God? It means to wait on God with patience and perseverance as Romans 8:25 says, "But if we look forward to something we don't have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently." (NLT)

Even as I ask myself other questions like why does God have me here in this place at the time? Or how is this going to benefit or help me in future events?

To be honest all I know it's just God telling me to trust Him.

With the epic conclusion to wrap that up it means to have faith in the unknown and wait; meaning I have a lot to learn.
Now the other questions;

"What can I do to leave a legacy? How can I speak with authority When I can’t see You, I can’t see You How can I know the dreams You have for me?
How do I believe beyond what I have seen?" -Tim Timmons

Quite frankly thinking of  leaving a legacy I think of camp Crestridge because in the promo for Crestrige and Ridgecrest it says, "Join the legacy" and thinking what I'm thinking it must show some sort of significants or I'm just getting ahead of myself, but we'll get there in a minute. So my answer might be when I send in the application for camp Crestridge or in recent thoughts any summer camp.
How about authority? Ooh tough one I must say, actually despite the fact I'm the eldest doesn't exactly mean or scream authority, but since the good news has been official to announce that my parents are planning on adopting on a little girl from Haiti, so you can pray for that. However my answer is yes waiting to send applications to be a camp councilor or in starting ministry soon.
When I can't see God? Short and simple: Still on earth and still waiting, most of all I have to trust God. Knowing dreams and believe what I have seen? Dreams are easy; my answer
"God surpasses our dreams when we reach past our personal plans and agenda to grab the hand of Christ and walk the path He chose for us. He is obligated to keep us dissatisfied until we come to Him and His plan for complete satisfaction."
-Beth Moore
Through out the past few months I've wondered about God's will, wondered what it means to trust God? And recently I've realized that your dreams can come true when you trust in God.
“God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him”
-John Piper
It's also really cool to see God's work in my life though godly desires and being able to see His work is in my life through all my plans, ambitions, and goals.
"Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails. What a man desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar. The fear of the LORD leads to life: Then one rests content, untouched by trouble."
-Proverbs 19:20-23"
Generally the question being asked is why haven't I trusted God's promise in Jeremiah 29:11?
 ^"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Starting Ministry! 1 Timothy 4:12
"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."
 Proverbs 16:3
"Commit to the Lord whatever you do,    and he will establish your plans."
This section is going to be really short basically I'm taking on a new role to start my training to help with youth group. I'll let you know more as I'm father along.

What's The Deal With Me Getting Ahead Of Myself?
Philippians 4:6
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

It's a work in progress hopefully that will change, but the big deal is really learning to trust in God throughout this entire situation of all what I am waiting to see what God will do with my life.

So yes it starts with me!
" You're my revival song, You start where I belong
On my knees, on my knees
When I am weak or strong You meet me here
When I'm on my knees, on my knees
Oh, it starts with me

Why do I try to work outside of You?
Knocking down doors I should be going through
But I'm so tired, I'm so tired
You take my burdens off of my shoulders
You break the lies that hold me back
I'm not sure enough

I really wanna change the world
I really wanna sing Your song
But I know revival's got to start with me
I really wanna change the world
I really wanna sing Your song
But I know revival's got to start with me"
-Tim Timmons "Starts With Me"




 

The Best 4th of July So Far?

Yesterday was 4th of July as you all know, but for me it was more then the average American red, white, and blue, anything having to do with BBQ, fireworks, family, friends, and traffic kind of day. It was really good, but wild 4th of July and not the wild you'd expect it to be by definition either. Only this 4th of July and the last I had gained more perspective, with the added going mad occasionally, and if you're asking, "is that good or bad?" I would say perspective is key, but not today no, today my answer is that depends on my day that usually ends up being yes, that is unless otherwise my day has resulted in anxiety then it's bad. It has been different is all I'm saying, and that might just be because this year my parents weren't looking at the place I'm living in currently and because I got to see a few people I haven't seen in 7 months. I'm just glad seeing everyone wasn't half as bad as I thought (that was probably the anxiety talking at the time), but I'm glad I had more to talk about then I usually ever did apart from the animals. Of course it just gets weird when they ask how's Albuquerque? I just say it's the same and I've changed more then Albuquerque, but let's just get the facts straight: There is nothing new under the Albuquerque sun, except maybe the one of two seasons changing and rarely the weather. It was great seeing everyone that I haven't seen in 7 months, but I got werided out quickly when they said my sisters and I were all grown up. I'm thinking it had something to do with the fact that my sisters were wearing make up, and I was not wearing my glasses plus my hair was cut. Uh I guess that would be pretty self-explanatory for the most part. The best parts about going yesterday was seeing my two of my friends get baptized, getting to see the small amount of people I knew, getting to see new familes, and of course getting hugs. If you know me well enough, you should know I love hugs (meaning don't be afraid to give me a hug, I don't bite and if I do I only nibble). On the hysterical side I have been given a task that I haven't given much thought to, but I better get crackin' and let's hope that ends like I hope it will because it involves giving someone a hard time. I had to laugh though because everyone kept asking "have you eaten?" no I wish I would have though... I blame the stupid Goldfish crackers and Gatorade I had rather then homemade ice cream, farm fresh BBQ pig, and every thing else that looked good. I am one happy Melody, but when people asked about the church though, that's when the situation changed rather quick and dad thinks we're all happy dandy lions. I am not implying that I'm not happy at Cottonwood, but same story I've never been at a church so long or even old enough to ever really know either and that's why it takes a lot of change. (But don't be suprised if that changes here quickly). At least I got talking about the changes I've experinced and even talked about how stressed I am about being stressed in January (and that does not include my 17th birthday either). Yes, January is going to be stressfull because all my deicions and many determining factors for so many things and I'm not geting into details today, but be on the watch! I was just so encouraged by everyone I talked to because they just heard everything I said with the added of basically telling me not to worry God's got it under contoll and that if I am in God's will I won't miss a thing. Thank goodness it was just at the most amazing time too. What a wonderful way to spend 4th of July with amazing people!

So that's really it for today. I could go on, but I would rather save this story to add on to for other posts.