If I could file a complaint right about now it would be about how April doesn't feel like April it feels like March (well either way I am still technically complaining). So the list of complaints obviously begins with it feeling like March. The second is about time; time is slipping through my hands and flying far beyond my imagination (as wild as my imagination is that shouldn't be hard to believe.) So I'm hopping the rest of April will feel like April and I will be productive the rest of April. Other then me being annoyed by the fact that it doesn't feel like April things have been well interesting (I guess in that good kinda way). For example at Bible study we had talked about spending time in The Word... I was pretty well caught because I knew both how horrible I've been about procrastinating and being basically a hearer and not a doer of the word. Thus it began, we talked about it like our “quote” on quote excuses why we didn't read our Bibles (my excuse is pretty much I don't feel like it. Witch I know pretty pathetic). Well so much better to know I am not the only one. Now probably should've guessed that but it was reassuring. So in the book that we are going though there were seven things so they were things like:
-Keeping a journal
-Using the Bible on tape
-Following a reading plan
-Using a hymnal or songbook
-Finding a specific time and place
-Using computer Bible programs (or now days our smart phones)
-Using a devotional guide
I thought all good ideas looks like we'll have to try each of them.
Next off, yes I did get my hair cut! Yes at long last, but let me tell you, they cut off 5 inches! Dude I had no idea I had that much hair. Next off again, school, school is getting on my nerve. Actually it's my laziness and that is dead truth. So lets just hope I can get it done next month.
Last but not least, I well kinda sorta a little bit, got a job offer. Well actually we scampered about the mall because I wanted earrings (as weird as that sounds) and we looked for the swirly earrings I wanted but we didn't find them. So actually what happens is my sisters and I go past the Famous Footwear store then we see mom (and we were suppose to meet mom at the front of the mall but didn't) so we tell her about Crocks on sale so we go over there and mom yes gets her shoes, but she asks about jobs, so it turns out they are hiring part time (like 4-10 hours on weekends)! So I thought that would be perfect because no worrying about school nor crazy hours so it'd be perfect! Although I should finish school then apply, seams like the manger liked me though! Yay!
Now I dunno if you are all wondering about my anxiety (or sometimes often comes as “self pity” or whatever it is we want to call it at times. I guess we all know by now it varies). I can tell you, it certainly seams as though it never entirely leaves. By that I mean for an rather short period of time I'm pretty good and it's no bother at all. Then it comes up just as I am dragging out, thus I am back to what seams as beginning. <----- as inaccurate as that is along with false reality I just can't see why it looks that way. Anyway, it usually gets better as I pray and listen to good solid Christian music. But in the long run I think it's preparing me for the road ahead, what ever that is lies ahead. Now if you are maybe reading this and asking, “I thought you had it all figured out?” Well let's be honest, I do but I don't, so let me resolve this. I may know I am going to be used by God in spectacular way by being a missionary and hopefully be attending Moody Bible Institute, but that's like as far as I know. Yup that's right I don't even know where I'll be a missionary, nor do I completely see the road God will take me to go. Although I think the start is learning leadership and with that being a camp councilor. So I'm kinda waiting impatiently/anxiously, but I don't feel terribly worried either. Hmmm.... (Everyone tells me live in the moment. I am afraid I just can't live to do that being as stubborn as I am it's just not me. -take note if my selfishness- Still, living in the moment would probably calm me. -I bet you'd never hear me say that again.)
If you would all pray for me to have strength and just get over this anxiety/depression that would be great! Thanks in advance.
So that's roughly about it. But, I guess there are other things I could mention, so I'll tell you of more when more comes.
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