Sorry I haven't posted since like last Saturday time has gotten away from me and my goodness is time just slipping through my hands like sand? So I apologize I wasn't anticipating on having you all wait that long for me to tell you everything.
So I guess I'll start with last Sunday, shall we? Well last Sunday I was doing camera duty and that was fun so I didn't have to worry about the passover and eating horseradish and bitter herbs, although I'll admit I could live off of Matza and grape juice just sayin'. Umm so I also got to hang out with some friends too. It was fun going to Caleb's house to play cards (even though card games and I do not get along I still had fun). We had went to go see Monster's INC. in 3D and Allegra mentioned how she forgot how good that movie was. Then chilled out at the church office and played Egyptian Rat Slap (probably the most stressful card game in existence) not going to explain because it to me is complicated and then all that other sort of youth stuff we do. I would tell you more but it just appears it would take to long.
Monday was very unproductive and so was the rest of my week so that's what you should pretty much know.Although I'll admit, Wednesday was Bible Study, I'm telling you I'm loving it! Even though it's pretty much Christianity 101 I'm still feeling it will help me learn leadership because if someone I'm talking to wants to ask questions I can actually simplify it without stuttering and not knowing what to say so we're covered. Although I'll admit God's mysterious ways of His timing... well actually not the first time BUT my point is today we had baptisms and we were talking about it at Bible study soo. Anyway I'll tell you of today, wasn't much to it but being Sunday, Easter, my friend getting baptised, and my sisters birthday it hasn't been all that exhilarating sorry well kinda not to be blunt. Yeah so got up walked the dogs and as usually last to find my basket. But we had a huge "potluck" like thingy (I know I'm so vague and use words like thingy) but oh food heaven. Ha ha sorry I love food, and people so that just made my day. Although I feel bad for Tyler, he wanted to play fish out of water and there were Easter eggs all over the place so we had to play on the swings. Ah yes, we are such children. So it was so weird before we were talking physics jokes. It's nice though got to talk to my friend Sophie I haven't seen her in a while, so get this she's a exchange student from Germany lucky me being German so we had good conversation and FINALLY someone knows my last name is German, but it's pretty "self explanatory" because Meyer is very popular in Germany and it turns out (from my the way I think) I still actually sound German (may not be as a legit sounding accent but close enough). :D
Now with all the scrambles of things going on I should have you know of some news that really goes two ways, so bear with me and don't get lost that is if I don't make any seance.
Well it's actually "good news" and may or may not eventually turn into "bad news".
So several times you've probably heard or saw me talking about dad and his job at Blue Bell (the devil of ice cream yes go ahead ask why) but the fact is dad is going to Richmond, Virgina and mom thinks he's going to get a promotion after a month after he leaves (now mom is against it and probably several others)
Okay so I'll admit and tell you straight forward expect anytime within the next year to tell you "adiós" New Mexico (or if you really want me to say The Land of Enchantment). I laugh I told my friend Joy Howell that "nonsense" and she's like oh no you don't we'll stop you! I'm sorry but this is just seriously looking more and more likely.
So today I had told out newly founded "best friend" Travis that he's apart of the family and he really is don't get me wrong no sarcasm at all he took it and I think he's glad to be apart of our family (kinda like a weird older brother) anyway he sat with my mom and sitters since dad and I are "techies" it seams to work out alright. Gladly I will accept new family. Go ahead laugh it doesn't seam like something I wouldn't say I know especially since I had such a rough time switching between church families. Well let me tell you a funny story, we have our friends the Junglings who we used to go to church with and really good friends with. So while we were still between two places (very distant from everyone in my perspective) and we have the DerGregorians at the other church. So my sisters and I are one Sunday evening sitting on the couch at youth group and out of the blue Al asks, “hey do you guys know the Junglings?” (O-O <---- my face). And I say, “yeah we go to church with them the weeks we aren't here” then I ask how does he know Dan? Well turns out their college buddies and Mr.Jungling andMrs sung at his wedding. Then he said to tell them hi (well this was before I could pronounce DerGregorian) so I said Al says hi (to Junglings and Booths alike) and they are like Al who? Al DerGregorian? Yes I say then Mr.Jungling says call him Al Gregory see if he responds and so I try it. Boy did he stop in his tracks wondering how we knew I said Dan Jungling told us to call you that. (A total ROFL moment). Anyway then this past week I see on Facebook that they're on the same flight back from Denver!!! Then he tells me it's so of God then I guess he tells dad that Dan said he stole us and Al said God called them. My thinking is not literally but I said to someone earlier, you guys just got the Shepard's staff and poled us right in. Tee hee. Anyway so funny how that happens.
Last order of business. If I do not move across country I plan to hopefully start a woman's Bible study. Godspeed so yeah update you again when I do.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Saturday, March 23, 2013
The Enemy Part 2 Guilt
I know how you were probably all expecting "pride" to be the next one, but I decided to do guilt because that's kinda where I'm at.
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One of the reasons us as Christians feel so defeated in life is because of guilt and it is perhaps the biggest impact on our lives. There are two types of guilt and I want you to know the difference between them.
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_Godly Sorrow that leads to Repentance:
When ever we sin repeatedly and God wants us to recognize it He puts guilt there to tell you, "hey man, you're sinning and I'm not cool with that". So once a person repents, the guilt lifts and they feel relieved and joyful that their sin(s) have been forgiven and no longer is it an issue.
_Accusations from the Devil:
We all know the Devil loves to remind us of past sins and make us feel so dirty, unclean and so unworthy. The newest that has come to me is that Satan can also place thought in your mind and make you feel guilty of something you've never even done! It's a lie from "the father of lies, and we need to ignore it!
_Let's resolve this:
Repentance is great because we know that Christ is making us like His perfect Son, and there is no longer any condemnation. Just as Romans 6:1-14 says,
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I love Psalm 103 verse 12 "as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
To think we have not explored our entire universe and that is how far our sins have been removed!
Isaiah 43 is also a favorite because we Christ's beloved and He is ours!
When ever we sin repeatedly and God wants us to recognize it He puts guilt there to tell you, "hey man, you're sinning and I'm not cool with that". So once a person repents, the guilt lifts and they feel relieved and joyful that their sin(s) have been forgiven and no longer is it an issue.
_Accusations from the Devil:
We all know the Devil loves to remind us of past sins and make us feel so dirty, unclean and so unworthy. The newest that has come to me is that Satan can also place thought in your mind and make you feel guilty of something you've never even done! It's a lie from "the father of lies, and we need to ignore it!
_Let's resolve this:
Repentance is great because we know that Christ is making us like His perfect Son, and there is no longer any condemnation. Just as Romans 6:1-14 says,
"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his.For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace."
And so when Satan tries to mess with our heads (like he has been mine) we need to ofter remember who we are in Christ!
2 Corinthians 5:17
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come The old has gone, the new is here!"
Guilt is the door to let Satan in. Now it's hard I know for us not to grow weak and weary because we are only flesh. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Observe the Biblical perspective of clean:
Isaiah 1:18
“Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the Lord.“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."
Ezekiel 36:26-28
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God.
Isaiah 43
Isaiah 43
“Israel's Only Savior
But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
peoples in exchange for your life.
Fear not, for I am with you;
I will bring your offspring from the east,
and from the west I will gather you.
I will say to the north, Give up,
and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the end of the earth,
everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.”
Bring out the people who are blind, yet have eyes,
who are deaf, yet have ears!
All the nations gather together,
and the peoples assemble.
Who among them can declare this,
and show us the former things?
Let them bring their witnesses to prove them right,
and let them hear and say, It is true.
“You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord,
“and my servant whom I have chosen,
that you may know and believe me
and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
nor shall there be any after me.
I, I am the Lord,
and besides me there is no savior.
I declared and saved and proclaimed,
when there was no strange god among you;
and you are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and I am God.
Also henceforth I am he;
there is none who can deliver from my hand;
I work, and who can turn it back?”
Thus says the Lord,
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“For your sake I send to Babylon
and bring them all down as fugitives,
even the Chaldeans, in the ships in which they rejoice.
I am the Lord, your Holy One,
the Creator of Israel, your King.”
Thus says the Lord,
who makes a way in the sea,
a path in the mighty waters,
who brings forth chariot and horse,
army and warrior;
they lie down, they cannot rise,
they are extinguished, quenched like a wick:
“Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
The wild beasts will honor me,
the jackals and the ostriches,
for I give water in the wilderness,
rivers in the desert,
to give drink to my chosen people,
the people whom I formed for myself
that they might declare my praise.
“Yet you did not call upon me, O Jacob;
but you have been weary of me, O Israel!
You have not brought me your sheep for burnt offerings,
or honored me with your sacrifices.
I have not burdened you with offerings,
or wearied you with frankincense.
You have not bought me sweet cane with money,
or satisfied me with the fat of your sacrifices.
But you have burdened me with your sins;
you have wearied me with your iniquities.
“I, I am he
who blots out your transgressions for my own sake,
and I will not remember your sins.
Put me in remembrance; let us argue together;
set forth your case, that you may be proved right.
Your first father sinned,
and your mediators transgressed against me.
Therefore I will profane the princes of the sanctuary,
and deliver Jacob to utter destruction
and Israel to reviling.”
Psalm 103
Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
And so when Satan tries to mess with our heads (like he has been mine) we need to ofter remember who we are in Christ!
2 Corinthians 5:17
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come The old has gone, the new is here!"
Guilt is the door to let Satan in. Now it's hard I know for us not to grow weak and weary because we are only flesh. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Observe the Biblical perspective of clean:
Isaiah 1:18
“Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the Lord.“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."
Ezekiel 36:26-28
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God.
Isaiah 43
Isaiah 43
“Israel's Only Savior
But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
peoples in exchange for your life.
Fear not, for I am with you;
I will bring your offspring from the east,
and from the west I will gather you.
I will say to the north, Give up,
and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the end of the earth,
everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.”
Bring out the people who are blind, yet have eyes,
who are deaf, yet have ears!
All the nations gather together,
and the peoples assemble.
Who among them can declare this,
and show us the former things?
Let them bring their witnesses to prove them right,
and let them hear and say, It is true.
“You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord,
“and my servant whom I have chosen,
that you may know and believe me
and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
nor shall there be any after me.
I, I am the Lord,
and besides me there is no savior.
I declared and saved and proclaimed,
when there was no strange god among you;
and you are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and I am God.
Also henceforth I am he;
there is none who can deliver from my hand;
I work, and who can turn it back?”
Thus says the Lord,
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“For your sake I send to Babylon
and bring them all down as fugitives,
even the Chaldeans, in the ships in which they rejoice.
I am the Lord, your Holy One,
the Creator of Israel, your King.”
Thus says the Lord,
who makes a way in the sea,
a path in the mighty waters,
who brings forth chariot and horse,
army and warrior;
they lie down, they cannot rise,
they are extinguished, quenched like a wick:
“Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
The wild beasts will honor me,
the jackals and the ostriches,
for I give water in the wilderness,
rivers in the desert,
to give drink to my chosen people,
the people whom I formed for myself
that they might declare my praise.
“Yet you did not call upon me, O Jacob;
but you have been weary of me, O Israel!
You have not brought me your sheep for burnt offerings,
or honored me with your sacrifices.
I have not burdened you with offerings,
or wearied you with frankincense.
You have not bought me sweet cane with money,
or satisfied me with the fat of your sacrifices.
But you have burdened me with your sins;
you have wearied me with your iniquities.
“I, I am he
who blots out your transgressions for my own sake,
and I will not remember your sins.
Put me in remembrance; let us argue together;
set forth your case, that you may be proved right.
Your first father sinned,
and your mediators transgressed against me.
Therefore I will profane the princes of the sanctuary,
and deliver Jacob to utter destruction
and Israel to reviling.”
Psalm 103
Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
The Lord works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.
and justice for all the oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
his deeds to the people of Israel:
The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting
the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting
the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
The Lord has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.
Praise the Lord, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word. Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will. Praise the Lord, all his works
everywhere in his dominion
and his kingdom rules over all.
Praise the Lord, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word. Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will. Praise the Lord, all his works
everywhere in his dominion
Praise the Lord, my soul.
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I love Psalm 103 verse 12 "as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
To think we have not explored our entire universe and that is how far our sins have been removed!
Isaiah 43 is also a favorite because we Christ's beloved and He is ours!
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Also with Easter being next week we are sure in our salvation because Christ Jesus died and rose again! Blessed Assurance probably being the song for the season. Who ever said you couldn't say 'Tis the season in March?
So Christ has rissen and if we are truely been born of Christ we have rissen and burried with Him!
Also with Easter being next week we are sure in our salvation because Christ Jesus died and rose again! Blessed Assurance probably being the song for the season. Who ever said you couldn't say 'Tis the season in March?
So Christ has rissen and if we are truely been born of Christ we have rissen and burried with Him!
Let us keep confident in who we are in Christ! And do as Phillippians 3:14 says,
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
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Let's stop struggling with guilt and remeber we can break free!
Let's stop struggling with guilt and remeber we can break free!
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Spiritual Warfare
Time to breathe a deep breathe of fresh air. All I can think to do is inhale, exhale, pray, and worship. So time to explain so many different things, or really elaborate on some of past things and so without further ado I'll begin.
So you might remember me telling you of Satan trying to get me to look at porn, I never did as mentioned, now he's getting into my head about some sort of "sexual" crap and nope never had sex, yes I confess I've made some mistakes and not exactly keeping myself pure, like letting 2 guys kiss me and being a cuddle bunny with the other. Certainly it was poor judgement and a poor job of keeping myself pure. Now really I regret these mistakes but have learned from them. In relation at our Bible Study (Life Group) we discussed salvation, further extent on grace and our position in Christ. Really the thing that sticks out to me is, God knows every sin, past, present, and just every single one! Not to mention we NEED TO HAVE CONFIDENCE IN WHO WE ARE IN CHRIST!!! Just as John 10 says" “I am the good Shepard”. Wild and crazy it's been so just pray for this freaking crazy season.
Next off... Well in this "section" I think you are going to learn a little bit more about me and you'll see some "confessions" that even for me seems to be hard fact that is a painful reality check.
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Well being the year of 2013 I knew it was going to be scary and I was right. <---- Not to sound prideful. Anyway, the story goes like so:
It was actually about December and my parents had made the final decision about leaving a church (aka my comfort zone) the fact that 2 years earlier I had boast fully said, “I have no comfort zone” uhh yeah I do so reality check; don't get comfortable anywhere because God will move you to somewhere where you are absolutely not comfortable. As the last week in December came it was “goodbye”, I wore my "testify" shirt because I was an absolute rebel to this idea. Now I said, “don't say goodbye yet I'll still be around” three months later still haven't come back and the only reason I said not to say goodbye was because one, I absolutely loathe goodbyes, two I still had every intent on coming back as soon as I could drive, three, actually this is pretty well referred to my childhood experience of leaving Michigan, but the point was I said goodbye and I was back within a month and a half. Personally I think it's a numbing experience because I hate pain. Anyway, I still came back to CoG within a day so I mean really it was all of God.
Next issue was officially going to Cottonwood, like I said it's not a bad church, but even though we have been attending the youth group since September (below I'll show you a picture taken by Mrs.Miller) anyway, my reaction at first was “meh it's a bit light on teaching and the worship is really upbeat” we go and Faith and Emily actually love it and apparently so do Mom and Dad. Me was just down right stubborn, but I had to admit I had fun and thought oh fine! Never did I think of the full time commitment on Sundays, but I was perfectly comfortable with every other week. But here I am and I gave in all surrender. It later came to me, “I have no joy!” Not even a little bit! I thought and thought, “why does God have us at Cottonwood?” Still struck at the question I assumed either to grow in a relationship (that is with a young man.) no that's not it either. Now I think I know the reason and it could be just me doing ministry like doing Power Point (camera duty).
So I never really feared growing up... Oh crap, yes I do now. Ha yeah pride again slapped into my face. So yes because hormones and finding out I'm like my dad's family that struggles with depression so looks like it's pretty bad after all God please give me strength.
Now many of you may or may not know, but we used to have a lot of animals and I loved them in all but it's good to not have them so now I kinda feel lonely.
Normally I'm typically "independent" but I think I'm more dependent now in realizing I need people and fellowship.
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but 2013 is still dreaded. Sill if you haven't noticed about me I'm not very optimistic and I'm normally the person who encourages people. <---- I think....
Also you can tell I'm very uncertain. Witch clearly just me saying that because decisions and such things haunt me. <---- I know, I know- its normal for a human being. (Reality check because humans are humans and we do the same thing like worrying and such unimportant things).
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So as for Spiritual Warfare... Well as far as humans and the timeline goes it's just a fragment. If God has chosen us then Satan will want us back.
Lets just say the flesh and soul in the same body makes a lot of fighting. So it's fighting fire with fire. Basically my thoughts are we shouldn't have to worry about warfare because if we are in Christ Jesus then the war is already won and we are already with Jesus in Heaven. Not to mention no one can pluck us out of His hand and we are united with Him, like One Baptism and One Faith. I can tell you though, we are in One Body too. Okay let's explain the Body of Christ in a new way.... Titled: The Ultimate Love Story
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The Ultimate Love Story:
In the Bible God -or the Trinity- is often used in a Masculine form and Israel is in a form of Feminine form in books that have to do with prophecy.
So in Isaiah (a book of both History and prophecy) God often says to the author Isaiah, “tell Israel her sins have been forgiven” Then we see in Revelation the Bride of Christ. This is like a love story because God tells Israel her sins are forgiven (actually the reason for her and feminine form of Israel is because in the Hebrew or Aramaic language cities are in feminine form) anyway, see God sends His Son for us! His bride He loves His people. But you see in Revelation that we will be united officially with Christ as one body. So like in a love story the Princesses is longing to find her "Prince charming" and she eventually finds him then they have to fight for love even though they will mocked and others will not approve. So they at the end eventually get married and have a happily ever after. I'll let you translate it how you will, but it is the ultimate love story. -if you want the long story or extended edition then just ask me when you see more or if you rather leave a comment or just whatever.
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So that's that and tomorrow or Saturday I will be posting “The Enemy Part 2 Pride”.
So you might remember me telling you of Satan trying to get me to look at porn, I never did as mentioned, now he's getting into my head about some sort of "sexual" crap and nope never had sex, yes I confess I've made some mistakes and not exactly keeping myself pure, like letting 2 guys kiss me and being a cuddle bunny with the other. Certainly it was poor judgement and a poor job of keeping myself pure. Now really I regret these mistakes but have learned from them. In relation at our Bible Study (Life Group) we discussed salvation, further extent on grace and our position in Christ. Really the thing that sticks out to me is, God knows every sin, past, present, and just every single one! Not to mention we NEED TO HAVE CONFIDENCE IN WHO WE ARE IN CHRIST!!! Just as John 10 says" “I am the good Shepard”. Wild and crazy it's been so just pray for this freaking crazy season.
Next off... Well in this "section" I think you are going to learn a little bit more about me and you'll see some "confessions" that even for me seems to be hard fact that is a painful reality check.
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Well being the year of 2013 I knew it was going to be scary and I was right. <---- Not to sound prideful. Anyway, the story goes like so:
It was actually about December and my parents had made the final decision about leaving a church (aka my comfort zone) the fact that 2 years earlier I had boast fully said, “I have no comfort zone” uhh yeah I do so reality check; don't get comfortable anywhere because God will move you to somewhere where you are absolutely not comfortable. As the last week in December came it was “goodbye”, I wore my "testify" shirt because I was an absolute rebel to this idea. Now I said, “don't say goodbye yet I'll still be around” three months later still haven't come back and the only reason I said not to say goodbye was because one, I absolutely loathe goodbyes, two I still had every intent on coming back as soon as I could drive, three, actually this is pretty well referred to my childhood experience of leaving Michigan, but the point was I said goodbye and I was back within a month and a half. Personally I think it's a numbing experience because I hate pain. Anyway, I still came back to CoG within a day so I mean really it was all of God.
Next issue was officially going to Cottonwood, like I said it's not a bad church, but even though we have been attending the youth group since September (below I'll show you a picture taken by Mrs.Miller) anyway, my reaction at first was “meh it's a bit light on teaching and the worship is really upbeat” we go and Faith and Emily actually love it and apparently so do Mom and Dad. Me was just down right stubborn, but I had to admit I had fun and thought oh fine! Never did I think of the full time commitment on Sundays, but I was perfectly comfortable with every other week. But here I am and I gave in all surrender. It later came to me, “I have no joy!” Not even a little bit! I thought and thought, “why does God have us at Cottonwood?” Still struck at the question I assumed either to grow in a relationship (that is with a young man.) no that's not it either. Now I think I know the reason and it could be just me doing ministry like doing Power Point (camera duty).
So I never really feared growing up... Oh crap, yes I do now. Ha yeah pride again slapped into my face. So yes because hormones and finding out I'm like my dad's family that struggles with depression so looks like it's pretty bad after all God please give me strength.
Now many of you may or may not know, but we used to have a lot of animals and I loved them in all but it's good to not have them so now I kinda feel lonely.
Normally I'm typically "independent" but I think I'm more dependent now in realizing I need people and fellowship.
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but 2013 is still dreaded. Sill if you haven't noticed about me I'm not very optimistic and I'm normally the person who encourages people. <---- I think....
Also you can tell I'm very uncertain. Witch clearly just me saying that because decisions and such things haunt me. <---- I know, I know- its normal for a human being. (Reality check because humans are humans and we do the same thing like worrying and such unimportant things).
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
So as for Spiritual Warfare... Well as far as humans and the timeline goes it's just a fragment. If God has chosen us then Satan will want us back.
Lets just say the flesh and soul in the same body makes a lot of fighting. So it's fighting fire with fire. Basically my thoughts are we shouldn't have to worry about warfare because if we are in Christ Jesus then the war is already won and we are already with Jesus in Heaven. Not to mention no one can pluck us out of His hand and we are united with Him, like One Baptism and One Faith. I can tell you though, we are in One Body too. Okay let's explain the Body of Christ in a new way.... Titled: The Ultimate Love Story
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
The Ultimate Love Story:
In the Bible God -or the Trinity- is often used in a Masculine form and Israel is in a form of Feminine form in books that have to do with prophecy.
So in Isaiah (a book of both History and prophecy) God often says to the author Isaiah, “tell Israel her sins have been forgiven” Then we see in Revelation the Bride of Christ. This is like a love story because God tells Israel her sins are forgiven (actually the reason for her and feminine form of Israel is because in the Hebrew or Aramaic language cities are in feminine form) anyway, see God sends His Son for us! His bride He loves His people. But you see in Revelation that we will be united officially with Christ as one body. So like in a love story the Princesses is longing to find her "Prince charming" and she eventually finds him then they have to fight for love even though they will mocked and others will not approve. So they at the end eventually get married and have a happily ever after. I'll let you translate it how you will, but it is the ultimate love story. -if you want the long story or extended edition then just ask me when you see more or if you rather leave a comment or just whatever.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
So that's that and tomorrow or Saturday I will be posting “The Enemy Part 2 Pride”.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Opportunity Knocking
Looks like we're moving again! Not half way across the complex, nor half across the country, rest assured my friends it's just further up the road. So with opportunity, yes it's knocking, it also seams to be more in my vocabulary then ever, and not to mention I'm doing ministry at Cottonwood. Actually it's just doing power point, running the cameras and so it could be “missions work” in perspective. But with things like opportunity I have a funny story that I may or may not have fully told you, but I'll tell you anyway and it too kinda throws the idea of moving. So it was September last year as we moved and the thought of wondering where God wanted me... Well I wanted to go to Dallas, Texas and something told me that was desperation of wanting to go on some sort of missions trip. So I plan and not very enthusiastically I might add, so as it soon came to my attention it's not going to happen. Next off I look at my list of summer camp jobs and I looked more closely at Crestridge and found stuff on YouTube about the camp. I was excited and ready to go! (With the exception after I turn 17 or 18). Look deeper... Oh it's in North Carolina... That changes everything or so I thought... Lets just finish this story here, yes I still plan on going and that's where moving comes in. Reason number one is because my thoughts (wondering, wild, and mysterious) as they come I thought this summer would be my last in New Mexico and that was not just because I was job hunting out of state, it was because Dad's job nuff said. So first week in May we are moving and then to see what's next.
Next off on opportunity, the way I see it it comes down to decision making... Um well it's scary because I'm just that weirdo who looks ahead thinking nothing to worry about (except changed plans) but that's nothing in comparison to the thoughts of soon quick decisions that's what scares me.
Another thing: change with opportunity, well not even me can comprehend those two words together. Why you may ask? Well because for me I thought when opportunity came it was in your "specialty" not something totally new but once again I was wrong.
The joy of opportunity is the fact that I plan something (I do a lot of planing, believe me this is nothing new under the sun) but I plan in my perspective it's more of "walking by faith" but that's just my thinking of it. Next on piece of it adds to me realizing, "oh well God has something different planed and here we go again on my next 'adventure'". And once again I am wowed. So I'll gladly inform you of what's next hopefully more opportunity
Next off on opportunity, the way I see it it comes down to decision making... Um well it's scary because I'm just that weirdo who looks ahead thinking nothing to worry about (except changed plans) but that's nothing in comparison to the thoughts of soon quick decisions that's what scares me.
Another thing: change with opportunity, well not even me can comprehend those two words together. Why you may ask? Well because for me I thought when opportunity came it was in your "specialty" not something totally new but once again I was wrong.
The joy of opportunity is the fact that I plan something (I do a lot of planing, believe me this is nothing new under the sun) but I plan in my perspective it's more of "walking by faith" but that's just my thinking of it. Next on piece of it adds to me realizing, "oh well God has something different planed and here we go again on my next 'adventure'". And once again I am wowed. So I'll gladly inform you of what's next hopefully more opportunity
Saturday, March 16, 2013
The Enemy Part 1 Satan
From the beginning of the human race Satan has been our biggest enemy out there. From Adam and Eve, to us, and until the end where he is thrown is the Lake of Fire. Satan being the biggest enemy out there, he is the "Father of lies".
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Think Of It This Way On How To Defeat Satan:
-Satan was made a snake so we could stomp on him, just be careful he doesn't strike back.
Remember:
James 1:12-18
“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.”
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Even though Satan tempts us, tells God of our past sins (yes every one we've committed), and tries to do all that he can to separate us from the fold of God we know as John 10:14-17 says, “I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again.”
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For me it's been a difficult fight because Satan knows I belong to Christ and that scares him, now it may or not be the same for you (or what I mean to say is it may or may not be evident to you.) my point is, it's a spiritual warfare for your soul. (The battle is already won, but it still holds on to the fragments of time).
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James 4:6-10
“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double- minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.”
I'll be straight up with you, this verse has helped me remember over my little struggle, because if you've read my last post you'll know that Satan was tempting me to do something really bad. So I resisted the Devil and it makes a world of difference because I trusted in Jesus and He delivered me.
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Death and Sin have lost there grip on us! I understand sometimes the battle is hard when Satan temps us and we are burdened by the mistakes of our past... it's hard to let go of the mistakes. Also forgive; forgiveness breaks the chains!
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Stop Satan:
When it comes right down to it Christ says; “love your enemies” well Satan is a different kind of enemy. See we are tempted everyday to do something that can either be used to glorify God or to turn us to sin. I know we can't help but to sin because of it being of our human nature, but as I talked about in Bible Study was to extend grace. So next time you're tempted turn it to grace, even being angry; grace. When you are tempted to do something read your Bible, give the things that can tempt you to do wrong; push them away and lastly surrender. Surrender to God stops Satan because anything good and right makes him turn.
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We are Christians:
The name Christians means little Christ's. So remember you are daily being conformed to the image of Christ. Thought trial and error, confusion, chaos, stress, anxiety, depression, joy, and all the other things. Best part is Christ has been though everything we're going though right now! Maybe not sin, but He knows right where we are and is ready to shield us.
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Isaiah 43
“Israel's Only Savior
But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
peoples in exchange for your life.
Fear not, for I am with you;
I will bring your offspring from the east,
and from the west I will gather you.
I will say to the north, Give up,
and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the end of the earth,
everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.”
Bring out the people who are blind, yet have eyes,
who are deaf, yet have ears!
All the nations gather together,
and the peoples assemble.
Who among them can declare this,
and show us the former things?
Let them bring their witnesses to prove them right,
and let them hear and say, It is true.
“You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord,
“and my servant whom I have chosen,
that you may know and believe me
and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
nor shall there be any after me.
I, I am the Lord,
and besides me there is no savior.
I declared and saved and proclaimed,
when there was no strange god among you;
and you are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and I am God.
Also henceforth I am he;
there is none who can deliver from my hand;
I work, and who can turn it back?”
Thus says the Lord,
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“For your sake I send to Babylon
and bring them all down as fugitives,
even the Chaldeans, in the ships in which they rejoice.
I am the Lord, your Holy One,
the Creator of Israel, your King.”
Thus says the Lord,
who makes a way in the sea,
a path in the mighty waters,
who brings forth chariot and horse,
army and warrior;
they lie down, they cannot rise,
they are extinguished, quenched like a wick:
“Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
The wild beasts will honor me,
the jackals and the ostriches,
for I give water in the wilderness,
rivers in the desert,
to give drink to my chosen people,
the people whom I formed for myself
that they might declare my praise.
“Yet you did not call upon me, O Jacob;
but you have been weary of me, O Israel!
You have not brought me your sheep for burnt offerings,
or honored me with your sacrifices.
I have not burdened you with offerings,
or wearied you with frankincense.
You have not bought me sweet cane with money,
or satisfied me with the fat of your sacrifices.
But you have burdened me with your sins;
you have wearied me with your iniquities.
“I, I am he
who blots out your transgressions for my own sake,
and I will not remember your sins.
Put me in remembrance; let us argue together;
set forth your case, that you may be proved right.
Your first father sinned,
and your mediators transgressed against me.
Therefore I will profane the princes of the sanctuary,
and deliver Jacob to utter destruction
and Israel to reviling.”
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Think Of It This Way On How To Defeat Satan:
-Satan was made a snake so we could stomp on him, just be careful he doesn't strike back.
Remember:
James 1:12-18
“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.”
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Even though Satan tempts us, tells God of our past sins (yes every one we've committed), and tries to do all that he can to separate us from the fold of God we know as John 10:14-17 says, “I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again.”
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
For me it's been a difficult fight because Satan knows I belong to Christ and that scares him, now it may or not be the same for you (or what I mean to say is it may or may not be evident to you.) my point is, it's a spiritual warfare for your soul. (The battle is already won, but it still holds on to the fragments of time).
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
James 4:6-10
“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double- minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.”
I'll be straight up with you, this verse has helped me remember over my little struggle, because if you've read my last post you'll know that Satan was tempting me to do something really bad. So I resisted the Devil and it makes a world of difference because I trusted in Jesus and He delivered me.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Death and Sin have lost there grip on us! I understand sometimes the battle is hard when Satan temps us and we are burdened by the mistakes of our past... it's hard to let go of the mistakes. Also forgive; forgiveness breaks the chains!
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Stop Satan:
When it comes right down to it Christ says; “love your enemies” well Satan is a different kind of enemy. See we are tempted everyday to do something that can either be used to glorify God or to turn us to sin. I know we can't help but to sin because of it being of our human nature, but as I talked about in Bible Study was to extend grace. So next time you're tempted turn it to grace, even being angry; grace. When you are tempted to do something read your Bible, give the things that can tempt you to do wrong; push them away and lastly surrender. Surrender to God stops Satan because anything good and right makes him turn.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
We are Christians:
The name Christians means little Christ's. So remember you are daily being conformed to the image of Christ. Thought trial and error, confusion, chaos, stress, anxiety, depression, joy, and all the other things. Best part is Christ has been though everything we're going though right now! Maybe not sin, but He knows right where we are and is ready to shield us.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Isaiah 43
“Israel's Only Savior
But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
Because you are precious in my eyes,
and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
peoples in exchange for your life.
Fear not, for I am with you;
I will bring your offspring from the east,
and from the west I will gather you.
I will say to the north, Give up,
and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the end of the earth,
everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.”
Bring out the people who are blind, yet have eyes,
who are deaf, yet have ears!
All the nations gather together,
and the peoples assemble.
Who among them can declare this,
and show us the former things?
Let them bring their witnesses to prove them right,
and let them hear and say, It is true.
“You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord,
“and my servant whom I have chosen,
that you may know and believe me
and understand that I am he.
Before me no god was formed,
nor shall there be any after me.
I, I am the Lord,
and besides me there is no savior.
I declared and saved and proclaimed,
when there was no strange god among you;
and you are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “and I am God.
Also henceforth I am he;
there is none who can deliver from my hand;
I work, and who can turn it back?”
Thus says the Lord,
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“For your sake I send to Babylon
and bring them all down as fugitives,
even the Chaldeans, in the ships in which they rejoice.
I am the Lord, your Holy One,
the Creator of Israel, your King.”
Thus says the Lord,
who makes a way in the sea,
a path in the mighty waters,
who brings forth chariot and horse,
army and warrior;
they lie down, they cannot rise,
they are extinguished, quenched like a wick:
“Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
The wild beasts will honor me,
the jackals and the ostriches,
for I give water in the wilderness,
rivers in the desert,
to give drink to my chosen people,
the people whom I formed for myself
that they might declare my praise.
“Yet you did not call upon me, O Jacob;
but you have been weary of me, O Israel!
You have not brought me your sheep for burnt offerings,
or honored me with your sacrifices.
I have not burdened you with offerings,
or wearied you with frankincense.
You have not bought me sweet cane with money,
or satisfied me with the fat of your sacrifices.
But you have burdened me with your sins;
you have wearied me with your iniquities.
“I, I am he
who blots out your transgressions for my own sake,
and I will not remember your sins.
Put me in remembrance; let us argue together;
set forth your case, that you may be proved right.
Your first father sinned,
and your mediators transgressed against me.
Therefore I will profane the princes of the sanctuary,
and deliver Jacob to utter destruction
and Israel to reviling.”
Thursday, March 14, 2013
It Just Keeps Going
I know I haven't posted for like 5 days and I'm sorry time and other things got away from me. So let me tell you what's been going on. First off I had to hand my iPod (that witch I use to update my blog) to my mom because Satan had pretty much decided to try and get me to look at porn... well handed over anything I could use to possibly look at this garbage, so just had to removed all temptation and at all cost too. So reason number one right there for ya. Two, Sunday and Monday I couldn't think of anything to post except about probably something really depressing so. Tuesday night I was going to post but uh didn't because no iPod to post due to issue above, but I also had to go help our friend Miss.Elizabeth and so what I did while I was over there was originally to clean out the back yard... nope we swept, mopped and dusted three of her rooms. So I was happy I got to show her Louie Gigleo Star and Whale mash up and Laminin short version and she loved it! So it's a start.
Next up was Wednesday after we cleaned up Miss.Elizabeth's house I was exhausted that is only because I slept at someones house and on a couch. Well it doesn't have me sleep well so that's a given. So afterwords we went to buy her a new phone, oh the joy of seeing her look though phones. Meh now I may or may not have to teach her how to use it even though it's one of those Windows phones and that somehow it out of my "expertise" if you will. Oh Windows 8... So after this I had my Bible Study that I decided to do instead of dance and oh I am so enjoying it! Even though it's only been two weeks. It's nice being able to pray for each other. So we talked about Grace and with the mention I've been slacking on reading and still talking <--- well I'm not actually "allowed" to, but I did. As we talked I found it great because we talked about "Extending God's Grace to others" and how are we going to practice doing so. After the study I was talking to my sisters friend's mother about life and my daunting decisions. Next up I was talking to Sue and she does Children's Church with my mom. We talked, although earlier in the night she had said, "Melody, I think you're an inspiration to others by your actions and I think we older ladies can still learn so much from you"! And after talking and seeing how much of an inspiration I am, also everyone is excited to get to know each other (I really think Sue is excited to get to know me and I think she likes me from what she knows about me) and lastly, the joy of a reality check... dang I hate them... so the reality is as much as love the deep theological teaching I think I defiantly need the deeper fellowship more. So this is the reality I have faced. Today was pretty good I guess still lack of sleep getting the best of me and not to mention I was pretty lazy. So I won't tell you more of today but I'll tell you this I do defiantly have more for my The Enemy: Satan for ya on Saturday (maybe Sunday depending on what happens.)
So things just keep going. Not to mention Sunday I will be going to Miss.Elizabeth's house again on Sunday for St. Patrick's day and even being Irish I'm still wearing green now, I don't really see the point wearing green because my eyes for one are green and I'm Irish, but I guess I'll get in the spirt, hurrah for the holidays. <--- That is to the ones that consist of getting dressed up. Yay! (Okay I'll admit I was some what sarcastic). So next on my list of things to address, well tunes out my "new favorite" song has kinda a Bluegrass sound.... I have a problem with this because I don't like Bluegrass nor do I like country... Ooh am I just not up to tell you why but it drives me a bit crazy. <-- If you haven't noticed yet, I'm very mental and let my thoughts consume me to the point where I should just shut up. So my "new favorite" is King of Heaven Paul Baloche and another that's pretty cool is Mumford and Sons I Will Wait. (Still hard to think of me liking this one too)
So I should also mention my sisters birthday is on Easter so happy early birthday to them! Love you two! 15 years old let's just hope it's nothing like when I was 15.
So I think that's roughly it for now unless I was to mention every detail about things at Cottonwood, but I guess it's just not for today. Still making my daunting decision's and heck it's not easy it is however, it's stressful as all get out and on top of that I'm freaking out over several other things that I'm itching to say, but I can't because I'm not so sure of how to and if it's relevant right now, so see ya later!
Next up was Wednesday after we cleaned up Miss.Elizabeth's house I was exhausted that is only because I slept at someones house and on a couch. Well it doesn't have me sleep well so that's a given. So afterwords we went to buy her a new phone, oh the joy of seeing her look though phones. Meh now I may or may not have to teach her how to use it even though it's one of those Windows phones and that somehow it out of my "expertise" if you will. Oh Windows 8... So after this I had my Bible Study that I decided to do instead of dance and oh I am so enjoying it! Even though it's only been two weeks. It's nice being able to pray for each other. So we talked about Grace and with the mention I've been slacking on reading and still talking <--- well I'm not actually "allowed" to, but I did. As we talked I found it great because we talked about "Extending God's Grace to others" and how are we going to practice doing so. After the study I was talking to my sisters friend's mother about life and my daunting decisions. Next up I was talking to Sue and she does Children's Church with my mom. We talked, although earlier in the night she had said, "Melody, I think you're an inspiration to others by your actions and I think we older ladies can still learn so much from you"! And after talking and seeing how much of an inspiration I am, also everyone is excited to get to know each other (I really think Sue is excited to get to know me and I think she likes me from what she knows about me) and lastly, the joy of a reality check... dang I hate them... so the reality is as much as love the deep theological teaching I think I defiantly need the deeper fellowship more. So this is the reality I have faced. Today was pretty good I guess still lack of sleep getting the best of me and not to mention I was pretty lazy. So I won't tell you more of today but I'll tell you this I do defiantly have more for my The Enemy: Satan for ya on Saturday (maybe Sunday depending on what happens.)
So things just keep going. Not to mention Sunday I will be going to Miss.Elizabeth's house again on Sunday for St. Patrick's day and even being Irish I'm still wearing green now, I don't really see the point wearing green because my eyes for one are green and I'm Irish, but I guess I'll get in the spirt, hurrah for the holidays. <--- That is to the ones that consist of getting dressed up. Yay! (Okay I'll admit I was some what sarcastic). So next on my list of things to address, well tunes out my "new favorite" song has kinda a Bluegrass sound.... I have a problem with this because I don't like Bluegrass nor do I like country... Ooh am I just not up to tell you why but it drives me a bit crazy. <-- If you haven't noticed yet, I'm very mental and let my thoughts consume me to the point where I should just shut up. So my "new favorite" is King of Heaven Paul Baloche and another that's pretty cool is Mumford and Sons I Will Wait. (Still hard to think of me liking this one too)
So I should also mention my sisters birthday is on Easter so happy early birthday to them! Love you two! 15 years old let's just hope it's nothing like when I was 15.
So I think that's roughly it for now unless I was to mention every detail about things at Cottonwood, but I guess it's just not for today. Still making my daunting decision's and heck it's not easy it is however, it's stressful as all get out and on top of that I'm freaking out over several other things that I'm itching to say, but I can't because I'm not so sure of how to and if it's relevant right now, so see ya later!
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Wasting Away
Tonight is the night we loses an hour of our precious sleep and I'm so dreading it because I get up at 6:30am every Sunday. I kinda feel like I'm wasting away, and not only because I lack sleep, but because I waste time when I really shouldn't. Today was kinda productive I mean if you count doing math productive. I recently got back from the mall with my sister and friend Lexi, now I really shouldn't have but the only other thing was to play Xbox. Although honestly it wouldn't have been much more productive. But I am excited (yet slightly bummed), because hurray because I get to go help my friend Miss. Elizabeth and unfortunately skip guitar and school. But I guess it'll be okay. So yeah next thing about wasting away, I think it's time for me to spend less time playing games, taking pictures and all together less time on Facebook. I'd rather try to spend the day doing school and training for the 5K and other more "productive" things. Oh yes today I am so happy because we got school books galore! I can finally learn Latin and French and the best of all British literature! Woo so excited! Looks like I have to catch up and get into this and maybe just maybe make it though the decision making of pubic school being an option or taking college classes. Um next on the list has to be me "attempting" to actually start things like wasting less time, train for that blessed 5K and hopefully work on school and my guitar playing. Wish me luck! So yes I hope to be less lazy and not to mention hopefully start Drivers Ed and find a job... Goodness that would be a blessing!
So something I'm thinking about posting on here, a series about "The Enemy" and I need your thoughts if you're interested at all, now the reason I'm thinking about this is because not a lot of people understand what is the enemy is. Yes, the devil but how about a deeper look?
So please leave a comment I'd love to know your thoughts!
So that's kinda it for now cya!
So something I'm thinking about posting on here, a series about "The Enemy" and I need your thoughts if you're interested at all, now the reason I'm thinking about this is because not a lot of people understand what is the enemy is. Yes, the devil but how about a deeper look?
So please leave a comment I'd love to know your thoughts!
So that's kinda it for now cya!
Friday, March 8, 2013
Decisions, Decisions and more Decisions
Sorry I haven't posted in like four days but I've been doing some school, baby sitting and some serious thinking about decisions.
Now with the decisions honestly some have them have just been thoughts for so long and now it's time to decide weather or not they will become a reality or not. One of them is weather or not to go back to public school or not (you see this is not the first time I've thought about it... at first I felt God say no back in Estancia) so I'm first going to finish this school year along with get caught up in some math, then see what God says. Another one is during the summer get a job or go though the summer doing school? Well I'd love to get a job to earn money to go to Haiti and even pay for a trip to North Carolina next summer. ( I know I'm thinking ahead it's kinda something I do). Anyway, I'm still kinda not so sure personally I'll take any job, but again wait and see what God says. <---- One negative to getting a job is probably having to quit if I go to North Carolina if it is indeed God's will. Another BIG decision is the debate to become a member at Cottonwood Church or not. Yes, it's that daunting. I don't know it doesn't seem like a bad idea because I'm getting to know people and seeing them more as family. Hmmm...
Well I think it'd be nice to see what happens there. Lets see I'm deciding if its a good idea to retake the intermediate class for guitar or not... I'm thinking yes.
Still I've got to decide these things and some how I'm kinda intimidating. Not to mention if my parents give me the "okay" to date Cole once he turns 16 and his parents say yes. This is probably the most scary thought I have... Let me break down the problem; first off I feel between ready and not ready... Controversial thought I know. Okay enough of my patheticness over this. So I think you should all know that I have a surprise and no unfortunately it's not moving, but my dad is going to Richmond, Virginia at the end of April to train some people's for Blue Bell!! Whoop whoop although I told him to bring the camera and takes some pictures then he states, "so you can cry?" My response of course is, "yes..." yup I cry over green grass because its so amazing and it smells so freaking amazing. Haha yes yes, hopefully one day soon I can say the grass is greener on the other side. Anyway yay for my dad! Although he had to promise to come back or else there would be a search party for him and that party would conclude of Mike, Nathan, Nancy, (his coworkers) Mom, me, Faith, Emily and probably Craig, Dan and the rest of Cottonwood Church worship team. So with all this going on I think it's going to be interesting.
Now if you're asking about my anxiety, well, it's better turns out I'm not the only one suffering from it and it looks like we're all fighters from our own grief. Ooh yes and the highlight of the week was my Bible Study! We shared our "faith walk" well yeah I think I wasn't clear but if they have any questions I am glad to answer and in the process get to know them. (That goes for you too my readers). Still I kinda laugh at the people who wonder about the transition from Estancia to Rio Rancho because I'm a "city girl" at heart. So with having to relate of decisions and the making of them I think it was a great decision to move 7 months ago to the city but I tell ya it's now me going over my head in thoughts of moving. And not to mention in May is my mom and sisters anniversary of moving to New Mexico as for me I was there for the move but left like two weeks to go live on the road with my dad. But boy just the reality of moving and just dropping the feel of being a kid. I guess as many have said to me, "take your time to grow up", "enjoy being a kid", "quit trying to grow up so fast!" And others. Actually for many who said that to me made me think... well I moved to New Mexico and that was the last day of me being a "kid" and coming to reality. So the story behind this in decision making is that you make the decision when to take and run with something. Best thing to do when you have an opportunity is pray (or if your like me) take it and run with it and don't be reckless about it just be ready to stop and surrender. <---- take it from experience. So yeah overall I'm pretty freaked about decision making because I fear failure and I really shouldn't be especially since my last experience with leaning on Christ with the leadership. So that's that and just some pictures I took and photoshopped. Find a tree for some quiet time and good too.
Now with the decisions honestly some have them have just been thoughts for so long and now it's time to decide weather or not they will become a reality or not. One of them is weather or not to go back to public school or not (you see this is not the first time I've thought about it... at first I felt God say no back in Estancia) so I'm first going to finish this school year along with get caught up in some math, then see what God says. Another one is during the summer get a job or go though the summer doing school? Well I'd love to get a job to earn money to go to Haiti and even pay for a trip to North Carolina next summer. ( I know I'm thinking ahead it's kinda something I do). Anyway, I'm still kinda not so sure personally I'll take any job, but again wait and see what God says. <---- One negative to getting a job is probably having to quit if I go to North Carolina if it is indeed God's will. Another BIG decision is the debate to become a member at Cottonwood Church or not. Yes, it's that daunting. I don't know it doesn't seem like a bad idea because I'm getting to know people and seeing them more as family. Hmmm...
Well I think it'd be nice to see what happens there. Lets see I'm deciding if its a good idea to retake the intermediate class for guitar or not... I'm thinking yes.
Still I've got to decide these things and some how I'm kinda intimidating. Not to mention if my parents give me the "okay" to date Cole once he turns 16 and his parents say yes. This is probably the most scary thought I have... Let me break down the problem; first off I feel between ready and not ready... Controversial thought I know. Okay enough of my patheticness over this. So I think you should all know that I have a surprise and no unfortunately it's not moving, but my dad is going to Richmond, Virginia at the end of April to train some people's for Blue Bell!! Whoop whoop although I told him to bring the camera and takes some pictures then he states, "so you can cry?" My response of course is, "yes..." yup I cry over green grass because its so amazing and it smells so freaking amazing. Haha yes yes, hopefully one day soon I can say the grass is greener on the other side. Anyway yay for my dad! Although he had to promise to come back or else there would be a search party for him and that party would conclude of Mike, Nathan, Nancy, (his coworkers) Mom, me, Faith, Emily and probably Craig, Dan and the rest of Cottonwood Church worship team. So with all this going on I think it's going to be interesting.
Now if you're asking about my anxiety, well, it's better turns out I'm not the only one suffering from it and it looks like we're all fighters from our own grief. Ooh yes and the highlight of the week was my Bible Study! We shared our "faith walk" well yeah I think I wasn't clear but if they have any questions I am glad to answer and in the process get to know them. (That goes for you too my readers). Still I kinda laugh at the people who wonder about the transition from Estancia to Rio Rancho because I'm a "city girl" at heart. So with having to relate of decisions and the making of them I think it was a great decision to move 7 months ago to the city but I tell ya it's now me going over my head in thoughts of moving. And not to mention in May is my mom and sisters anniversary of moving to New Mexico as for me I was there for the move but left like two weeks to go live on the road with my dad. But boy just the reality of moving and just dropping the feel of being a kid. I guess as many have said to me, "take your time to grow up", "enjoy being a kid", "quit trying to grow up so fast!" And others. Actually for many who said that to me made me think... well I moved to New Mexico and that was the last day of me being a "kid" and coming to reality. So the story behind this in decision making is that you make the decision when to take and run with something. Best thing to do when you have an opportunity is pray (or if your like me) take it and run with it and don't be reckless about it just be ready to stop and surrender. <---- take it from experience. So yeah overall I'm pretty freaked about decision making because I fear failure and I really shouldn't be especially since my last experience with leaning on Christ with the leadership. So that's that and just some pictures I took and photoshopped. Find a tree for some quiet time and good too.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Three Days Later
Whew! I'm back and EXHAUSTED. It was such a great weekend yes, even the two emotional breakdowns that I had were good.
Well lets review the really awesome three day weekend I had.
Friday: We get there set up and wait around after we're done we all wanted to nap (really wish I would've). Then we have some chow, message (devotion), and it was overall really good. Ooh yes, we played, "honey if you love me" talk about laughing and awkwardness, poor Cameron couldn't stop laughing; he had it bad. I think it was just pretty dandy. The first breakdown happened during worship; the anxiety and guilt, then I heard God saying, "pray for Lexi, pray over Lexi and be her role model", so I say I need to talk to her and in a few minutes I broke down but it's all good.
Saturday: I get up to realize I was going to get up and shower and oh my goodness was it COLD! Talk about a short shower. Well I ate (not very much I might add), played a game with Dylan's squid, we had zombie names (kinda like up side the fruit basket) and I couldn't think of a name so I did Brian. Then we had a devotion then a "breakout session" that was more of overview and thoughts. Personally I felt like I talked too much. Ate lunch, after lunch we had a "surprise" I never did find out until it actually happened and it was our parents and a youth leader that wrote us a note showing how much they cared for us, mine was from Stephanie the "head leader" the first part is what caught me at surprise at how well she knew me and it says,
"Melody,
For having known you just a few months already, I feel I have learned so much about you. You have such a unique spirt. You are bold, straightforward, and far from timid. What has struck me most about you personality is the passion you exude in your faith life. I remember the first time we sat down for a one-on-one discussion, you handed me a list of your thinking points... no one does that! I found myself so encouraged that a young adult would, upon countering an issue of major stress and uncertainty, run at the problem Bible first."
^^^
That's so amazing for me because it's so hard to believe that someone has been more inclined to hearing me and I guess it really shouldn't especially since many people (more of adults) have been encouraged by my and even saying so.
Anyway, after this we go to either read our Bibles (reflecting time) or talk to an adult, I thought to talk to Stephanie, but I thought Lexi wanted to so I walked off for awhile, and hello who do we have hear with the camera? Lovely Mrs.Miller, she wants to take my picture (and we all know I'm not really photogenic) she says, "oh sure you are!" So she takes some pictures of me and thus it began. I told her of the anxiety, stress, fear and just what's been in my head lately (15 minutes is not enough). So I literally try not to break out in tears <------ well it didn't last for like 5 minutes. I broke out tears of how leaving the old church and how it's really not been easy, she comforts me and unbelievably the way she knows me! I was just blown away, obviously another noticeable thing is I am not patient and everyone apparently knows this. She says to me and knowingly says, "I know it's hard for you because you got your foot in the door of being a leader, yet you are still young enough to be a student." I think that just cleared up what I might be doing a bit later in life and that includes being apart of youth leadership. (This makes perfect seance). So after she asks if she can pray for me, I nod my head trying to calm down and get it together. Then games come Lexi asks if I'm alright... long story short she wouldn't understand. So we go on play our games, lesson, breakout session -or overview and then (start to play dramatic music) we have our guy/girl separate activity. The part where I get to wear a dress (no Cole wasn't there so 'twas less awkward) and while in the process Melinda wants to do my hair and make up. She asks if I trust her then says trust me, I joke around to say my mom says don't trust anyone who says trust me. But I accept since it was "just for fun". We talk and have good conversation and gladly I am not alone fighting anxiety! <---- Alas bitter sweat but mostly good. Anyway dinner comes good and tasty.
But then we just play and I'm happy because I actually went to bed an hour earlier then I did the night before. Yay!
Sunday: Alas time to come home... well really would've love to stay long because there was much less distractions and time to think and oh, yes indeed too worship. So I swapped cars then on the way there and singing songs on the radio (no not Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman or even Casting Crowns) stuff like hip-hop or if you will more worldly. But we were singing -and screaming- Taylor Swift I Knew You Were Trouble (goat version) Obviously us teenagers have no life because we're singing to Taylor Swift. But overall good week with being exhausted and a food coma.
So now to an actual hot shower and anything else the afternoon holds.
So now to an actual hot shower and anything else the afternoon holds.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Every Little Thing (what I'm thankful for)
I meant to post somethings I'm thankful for yesterday for the month of February, but instead I'm doing it today.
-Trials: Many of you know I've been suffering anxiety and I'm grateful because it has taught me to worship and pray.
-Youth Group: Well for 7 months we've been attending tHIS (Cottonwood's youth group), this weekend is the Winter Retreat and it's great because I have made a few new friends.
-Dogs: Even though are dogs can be a pain in the butt they're still family and good lap warmers too.
-Gummy Bears: I love me some gummy bears and mom bought me some the other day so I'm all set for the weekend!
-Siblings: As annoying as they are I still love 'em! It's nice to talk to them sometimes even though we don't have lots in common. <---- Yep it's true we have some in common but just barley enough to get by.
-Shorts: Albuquerque being as nice as it is and being a "donut hole" and rarely getting cold, and snowy I just love it getting warmer to wear shorts, even though I prefer the cold.
-YouTube: It's just been so nice to be able to look up great worship songs thank aren't on my iPod and one of my favorite song is King of Heaven Come Paul Baloche.
-Headphones: Because sometimes it's the best way to clear out your head and really focus on what's important.
-Leadership: Like I've been saying I'm super excited to learn leadership. I'm just so glad that God is right here to tell me where He wants me!
-God's Timing: Just the way I've felt God lean on my heart when I said I wanted change, when I also didn't know where He wanted me, He showed me and not to mention with leadership, I felt God telling me to learn leadership because I've been thinking about working in Ashville, North Carolina at a camp called Camp Crestridge for Girls next summer and I'm just so excited for all the Stepping stone and Milestones!
-Cottonwood Church: Well, I am grateful that I do get to serve here and have great fellowship, but I'm still homesick about leaving CoG.
-Family: On Wensday my family and I spent a day together and it was oh so nice.
-God's Beauty: I've been doing some looking around in Ashville, North Carolina and I just love it!
Well that's about all I can really think of for now. But I'd like all you guys to tell me what your thankful for. So see ya guys on Sunday!!
-Trials: Many of you know I've been suffering anxiety and I'm grateful because it has taught me to worship and pray.
-Youth Group: Well for 7 months we've been attending tHIS (Cottonwood's youth group), this weekend is the Winter Retreat and it's great because I have made a few new friends.
-Dogs: Even though are dogs can be a pain in the butt they're still family and good lap warmers too.
-Gummy Bears: I love me some gummy bears and mom bought me some the other day so I'm all set for the weekend!
-Siblings: As annoying as they are I still love 'em! It's nice to talk to them sometimes even though we don't have lots in common. <---- Yep it's true we have some in common but just barley enough to get by.
-Shorts: Albuquerque being as nice as it is and being a "donut hole" and rarely getting cold, and snowy I just love it getting warmer to wear shorts, even though I prefer the cold.
-YouTube: It's just been so nice to be able to look up great worship songs thank aren't on my iPod and one of my favorite song is King of Heaven Come Paul Baloche.
-Headphones: Because sometimes it's the best way to clear out your head and really focus on what's important.
-Leadership: Like I've been saying I'm super excited to learn leadership. I'm just so glad that God is right here to tell me where He wants me!
-God's Timing: Just the way I've felt God lean on my heart when I said I wanted change, when I also didn't know where He wanted me, He showed me and not to mention with leadership, I felt God telling me to learn leadership because I've been thinking about working in Ashville, North Carolina at a camp called Camp Crestridge for Girls next summer and I'm just so excited for all the Stepping stone and Milestones!
-Cottonwood Church: Well, I am grateful that I do get to serve here and have great fellowship, but I'm still homesick about leaving CoG.
-Family: On Wensday my family and I spent a day together and it was oh so nice.
-God's Beauty: I've been doing some looking around in Ashville, North Carolina and I just love it!
Well that's about all I can really think of for now. But I'd like all you guys to tell me what your thankful for. So see ya guys on Sunday!!
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